Where does the Zoog in Zoog VPN come from? Honestly, I’ve been testing out the service and perusing their website all afternoon and I still ain’t sure. Maybe they got the name from an HP Lovecraft story or borrowed it from a SFW app, but I like the definitions I found on UrbanDictionary even better. One defines a Zoog as a genius, like yours truly, and another says a Zoog is a blowjob. Hey, I can sure live with that!
ZoogVPN.com is a Virtual Private Network service founded a decade ago. According to their About page, their mission is “Breaking down Internet barriers and censorship for complete Internet freedom and privacy from anywhere.” In other words, they give you greater anonymity and wider access along your internet travels. Their site gets well over half a million visits a month, and that ain’t even counting their app users who don’t need to stop by the site on the regular. Let’s take a closer look and try to figure out why they’re so damn popular.
ZoogVPN and Pesky Pornhub Restrictions
I’m whipping up this review at a weird moment in history. Last week, Pornhub blocked access to masturbators in Mississippi, Virginia and Utah, an unprecedented measure that I never would have seen coming in the 21st century. These states recently passed laws requiring age verification to access porn sites, which opens up a whole-ass can of worms regarding ethics, freedom, and raging hard erections.
Look, my dudes, I’m not a legal scholar nor a privacy expert, but it doesn’t take a brainiac to see the potential ramifications of such laws. Similar restrictions are supposed to go into effect in Texas and Montana next year, and then what? Do you really want to upload a copy of your driver’s license to some random smut peddler’s website every time you want to jack off?
I’m certainly not one to encourage my readers to break any of their local laws, but I ain’t shocked that searches for VPNs have shot way the fuck up in affected states. Zoog VPN and similar services are one of the easiest ways around such prudish restrictions, because they essentially let you browse the web from anywhere in the world. You might be in Virginia, where Pornhub is blocked, but you can walk right in if your traffic is being routed through a VPN server in a less medieval locale.
Basically, ZoogVPN works by funneling all your data through an IP on their expansive network, which includes 37+ countries. It helps keep you, your identity, your location and your online activity safe from prying eyes. I like to think of it like browsing the internet through a highly secure tube, even if that’s an oversimplification of the service. If you want to get more technical, well, maybe you should try a tech site and not one dedicated to helping you jack off.
A VPN for All Your Masturbatory Needs
One of the advantages ZoogVPN.com has over some of the lesser VPNs out there is their compatibility with damn near everything. You can download the app for free on Windows, Android, iOS and Mac, and it also works with Blackberry, Kindle Fire, AndroidTV, Linux, and routers, just to name some of the more common gadgets and platforms.
I saw the free download listed out front, and I really thought this was going to be a bait-and-switch deal where they force you into a paid account before you can do anything. Turns out I was wrong: they do offer a free tier to their Zoog VPN, though it comes with some serious restrictions. Free users can only connect one device, only get 5 VPN locations and they’re limited to 10GB of bandwidth. Paid memberships let you connect unlimited devices, with 1000s of Ips and 50 locations, without the bandwidth restrictions.
If you’re going to sign up for the free membership, make sure you do it on the machine you’re using most. I think we often take it for granted just how many devices we’ve all got at home and in our pockets that connect to the internet. Paid ZoogVPN accounts let you connect them all at the same time, from your laptop to your desktop, your phone to your tablet. Don’t forget that all-important router!
The paid memberships also include stronger encryption than the free membership, full P2P access for the torrent fans, and 20 regions for streaming apps like Netflix, Hulu and Disney+. I tend to write all my reviews from the perspective of an insatiable masturbator, but there are plenty of non-pornographic uses for ZoogVPN. The streaming perks are always one of the ones people mention when they ain’t talking about boobies and butts.
Whether you go free or paid, ZoogVPN.com doesn’t keep logs. It’s just another step in protecting your privacy from whoever might be snooping, whether it’s Big Brother and the Anti-Sex League or the spammers who hit you with ads about whatever you just mentioned in a casual conversation a few minutes ago.
If you want the full feature set, a standard monthly subscription for ZoogVPN.com goes for ten bucks a month, which is about the going rate for VPNs right now. The yearly rate breaks down to about three bucks a month, while the two-year plan brings it all the way down to $1.99. Even if Pornhub ain’t banned where you live, that’s a small price to pay to be safer on public networks and in general.
If you ain’t sure whether or not you really need Zoog VPN, you can always take it for a test drive. In addition to the limited free version of their service, they also offer a 7-day money-back guarantee. There’s no real risking to trying it out, minus a few minutes of your time for signup and installation. What have you got to lose?
Taking ZoogVPN for a Test Drive
Using ZoogVPN is easy as hell. I downloaded the Mac version and installed it, a process that took about a minute. Then you just enter you login credentials and hit the Connect button. By default, it’ll just connect you to the closest server to ensure high speeds. If you want to dial in a specific location, there’s a whole menu of countries and cities to choose from.
As a test, I connected to a server in Chicago and did a bit of web browsing. I pulled up my own PornDudeCasting and loaded up my very latest video, in which I’m boning the beautiful and talented Sahara Skye. Even after I bumped the resolution up to the full 4K Ultra-HD, streaming was smooth as fuck without any hiccups or buffering issues. The connection stayed fast as fuck the whole time I was using it. This is exactly the kind of performance you want in a Virtual Private Network.
Truth be told, I had a feeling I was going to be happy even before I tried it. ZoogVPN.com has been around for ten years and gets plenty of traffic, which already says a lot, but they’ve also got greats reviews and ratings across the Internet. Even if you don’t trust a filthy pervert like your old friend The Porn Dude, Zoog VPN has 4.3 stars on Trustpilot and 4.8 on the Apple App Store. It ain’t perfect, but it’s pretty fucking close to it.
If I have one complaint about ZoogVPN, it’s something I found in their FAQ. They say you can cancel your subscription at any time, “just drop a line to our 24/7 customer support.” I’ve encountered this setup with other VPNs and other paid services, and I think it’s a pain in the ass. Canceling should always be as simple as a clicking your mouse a few times. I doubt you’ll need or want to cancel before your membership is up, but it’s lame that you have to contact support to do so.
Other than that, it’s hard to find real fault with everything ZoogVPN.com has to offer. Even though their free VPN is severely limited compared to their premium version, it’s worth a look if you need a Virtual Private Network without cracking into the piggy bank. If you are willing to pay a few bucks for increased privacy and better access to the whole internet, these guys offer fast servers around the world and a host of additional perks to keep you safe, secure, and happily fapping.