When I require a little splash of zing in my lengthy fap sessions, I break out the erotic video games. My fans are already fully aware of how fun gaming can be. Besides stroking your man horn, it’s all you dip shits get up to. I’m surprised you take breaks to eat, drink, and sleep.
The Next Level
As fun as playing Fortnite or Modern Warfare is, playing porn games on Undertow Club blows them out of the water. For beta pussies like yourselves, it’s the ultimate sexual stimulus. It doesn’t get any better than this unless you can find a way to alpha up.
Trust me. That is much easier said than done. Transforming from a beta to an alpha is almost impossible. I’ve only ever seen one man pull it off, but he had to surrender it all to regain everything.
There’s no way you have the proper constitution for such a life-changing personal journey. But who cares? It’s fine as long as adult gaming exists. However, you’ll need to grow some talents that best make use of adult video games. How lucky are you guys that I’m here to help?
Skilled Hands
Perhaps the most essential skill to acquire before visiting The Undertow Club is the capacity to use a game controller in one mitt while you wank off with the other. It’s not an easy thing to do. At first, it will demand all the focus you can summon, but it will become second nature after some decent training.
I advise you rehearse rubbing your belly with one hand while patting your head with the other. It will help your brain to mentally divide your limbs so they can perform different tasks simultaneously. If any of my readers happen to play instruments or juggle, you’ll have a head start on the competition.
Once you have the basics down and start to feel comfortable with your hands, you can practice massaging your balls while working the shaft and tip. Beginners will think it impossible, but with the right approach, you can pleasure your wang and fondle your cum creators. Trust me when I say it’s worth the effort of learning. Even if you don’t play porn games, you’ll find room to make use of your new talent.
However, there is no better use than jerking off on The Undertow Club. They have a superb collection of porn video games to hone your skills. You may never watch traditional porn again.
Switch Your Slippery
If you haven’t already, I suggest changing from lotion to water-based lubricants. First off, they feel great and don’t absorb into the skin as quickly. If it dries up, just spit on your dick. Second, and more importantly, they clean out of a game controller more easily.
Cleaning your controller will become a part of your regular routine if you make a habit of beating off on The Undertow Club. Lotion is a grimy bitch. It stains, doesn’t rinse off, and barely evaporates, so either exchange that shit for lube or buy a new controller every month for fifty bucks. It’s up to you.
Some of you dumbasses assume you can pussyfoot around this advice by using your mouse and keyboard instead of a controller. I hate to break it to you, but that’s not happening. You won’t be able to use your computer at all if you hose down the keyboard and mouse in lube and cum. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a horror movie to me. I can’t live without my daily supply of internet porn.
Now that you have the basic skillset needed to appreciate erotic games, it’s time to acquaint yourself with the scene. Porn gamers are a dedicated crew who don’t mess around with their masturbation. These are some of the world’s most reliable and committed fap freaks.
The best way to ingratiate yourself with porn game society is through blogs. Blogs have always been home to the most faithful porn watchers and meat-beaters. It’s where the best of the best share tips and tricks, trade porn and swap war stories.
Riptides and Tropes
One such blog is The Undertow Club. They have everything you need to go from adult gaming amateur to adult gaming professor.
A big part of adult gaming is tropes. Many games include one or more classic tropes that continue to arouse gamers no matter how many times they are used. You can read blog posts on the subject on The Undertow Club, but I’ll fill you in on a couple of my favorites right now.
One of the most beloved tropes featured in many hentai games is breast expansion. Who doesn’t want a bitch’s tits to get bigger? It doesn’t matter how large they are already. Tits can always get bigger.
You’ll read about breast expansion often on The Undertow Club. As I’m sure you inferred from the term, breast expansion is when a slut’s boobs suddenly start growing, generally due to some magical energy. I wish I had this power in real life. Small tits would be a thing of the past. The world would be on an all-Z-cup diet.
More often than not, games that fuck with breast expansion also fuck with body horror. Depending on how you play, a bitch’s bones could be broken and reformed, their flesh punctured and burned, or their face disfigured.
Another central trope around porn games is giant Amazonian cunts. My fans are already very acquainted with these kinds of cunts. Amazonian beauties are huge sluts with massive muscles capable of ripping your dick off and tossing it into the ocean deep. These bitches only like two things: fucking, and beating dudes up. Death by Snu Snu.
To Boldly Go
“Boldly Coming” is one of the best-named tropes in adult gaming. The name originates from “Star Trek.” Both Kirk of the original series and Riker from The Next Generation like to introduce themselves to new species by fucking them.
“Boldly coming” doesn’t have to involve aliens. It could be about fucking demons, bigfoots, loch ness monsters, chupacabras, ghosts, or mummies. The key is that the bitch isn’t human.
My readers gave up on fucking humans years ago. Fucking a human woman is so far out of the realm of possibility that fucking a cryptorchid sounds more likely. That’s a sad state of affairs.
Blogs are only as good as their design. A lot of information is disseminated on blogs, so if the place is chaotic, it can make easy use impossible.
Keeping Things Organized
Fortunately, The Undertow Club is sharp and well-organized. The main menu sits up top and contains the options Home, Forums, What’s new, Media, Resources, Tags, Members, Live sex, Log in, Register, Search, New posts, Search forums, and a link to your favorite porn review specialist.
Down the right-hand side is a navigational menu to help you get around the place efficiently. It’s split into five sections. First up are member links to their Discord accounts. At the time of this review, there were fifty people online. There are plenty of folks to make friends with and swap war stories with.
The second section lists all of the members online now. I bet people like Feet Gobbler, Big Futa Balls, and Sticky Fingers 69 have some intelligent shit to say. You might learn something if you listen.
The third section is a list of the latest posts on The Undertow Club. This currently includes shit like a list of the Best XXX games, Nude mods for traditional games, and Mod requests.
The penultimate section covers the latest resources on The Undertow Club. Right now, I’m looking at a Ruby Dragon mod for EM and a sexy Diablo 4 mod.
Last but not least is a block of site statistics. The Undertow Club contains fifteen thousand threads, Two hundred and fifteen thousand messages, One hundred and fifteen thousand members, and the last member to join was Bobo the Hobo.
Forums on the front page are split into the Social club and the Rec room. Social Club includes shit like Club announcements, The greeting room, General discussion, a Guest room, and an area to report site problems.
The rec room focuses more on gaming and includes Kinks and fetishes, Super deepthroat, Game modding, Game development, Adult and hentai games, Visual art, Fiction, and Roleplay.
As you can see, The Undertow Club has everything you fuckers need to expel sperm while playing video games. You’ll love how interactive jerking off to porn games is. The Undertow Club will teach you everything you need to know to maximize your experience.
It would be fun if The Undertow Club had a couple of games you could play on-site. I bet members would be happy to support them.
You’ve got a lot of research to do, so I won’t stand in your way any longer.