Besides a love for porn, there are a few other things my readers share in common. First off, most of you live in a room in your parent’s basement for zero rent. You have no employment, no aspirations, and no opportunities for advancement.
The Unfuckables
Second, you all love the shit out of video games. They help you to forget just how useless and fucked up you are. I mean, look at you. You’re surrounded by crusty cum incrusted Kleenex and the detritus from a thousand pizza boxes.
None of you have sex on the regular. If you’re not a virgin, it’s because you fucked some lame or mentally retarded bitch. But, hey, you do you, boo boo. I’m not here to judge where you get your pussy from. I review porn for a living. Of course, I also spend all day fucking models and live in the lap of luxury, but that’s neither here nor there.
It would be fucked up of me not to add tiny cocks to this list. I bet it would take six of my reader’s cocks to equal one ordinarily-sized peen. The rocking of your hips can make up for some things, but not a micropenis. Once you’re dealing with only a Tic-Tac, there isn’t much you can do besides tape a dildo to the tip of your dick.
Another thing you all share is a passion for pro wrestling, and the star of today’s article, Nadia White, knows this. Pro wrestling is kind of a strange phenomenon when you break it down, but I get why men enjoy it. There’s intrigue, drama, fighting, and, best of all, sexy bitches.
Fuck, Fight, Repeat
No wrestling promotion is whole without a bench full of horny bitches that march out into the squared circle and nearly rip each other’s clothing off. Fisty cuffs and fucking go together like a penis and vagina. Go get yourself some.
Wait, you can’t. Even a one-armed, no-legged Lithuanian midget could whoop your ass, and unless a bitch is in a debilitating coma, you’re not getting fucked. The best you can do is watch pro wrestling and dream.
Most people think of World Wrestling Entertainment when they think of pro wrestling, but that’s not the only promotion out there. AEW (also known as All Elite Wrestling) is the second most popular promotion on the market. If you follow that list of promotions down a bit further, you’ll arrive at the home of Nadia White: All-Star Wrestling.
Nadia is a multitalented slut that can submit your penis before suplexing it into her vagina. I’m always down to fuck a bitch with a finishing move. I’ve got a few finishing moves of my own. None would be effective in a fight, but they feel awfully good.
There are a million places you can see Nadia, but her Twitter page is a great place to start. When you’re as busy as this bitch, you need a fast and easy way to keep up with fans.
Uniquely multitalented
Nadia describes herself as doing porn, wrestling, podcasting, horror movie acting, and competitive eating. Despite being between two worlds, Nadia has been nominated for multiple Adult Video News and TEA awards. The bitch is good at what she does.
If you’d like to book Nadia, contact her management at OC Modeling. I doubt she’ll step foot into your parent’s basement, but you never know if you don’t try.
Nadia joined Twitter in June of 2016 and has since collected nearly one hundred and fifty thousand followers. She also has another account dedicated to her wrestling career. I don’t go there, but it does exist.
Nadia doesn’t have any posts currently pinned to the top of her page, but her most recent post regards her Wish Tender. Nadia threw her finger up at Bezos by skipping the Amazon Wishlist and finding an alternative.
Nadia has all sorts of requests up for the holiday season, such as a thousand bucks for rent, five hundred for her car note, two hundred to get her hair done, one hundred to get her nails done, twenty for lunch, fifty to brighten her day, or seventy-five just because.
Pussy Back From the Dead
I’ve seen porn videos start in myriad strange and perhaps disturbing ways. However, one of the rarest is with CPR. Nadia is nothing if not unique, so of course, it only took three posts for me to come upon Nadia getting her chest pumped by a stunt cock.
Apparently, Nadia Amy Winehoused herself in the bathtub and now needs to be brought back to life. I don’t know about you, but near death, experiences make me horny as fuck, so thanking her savior with a boning seemed the perfect way to go.
I do have a minor complaint about this feature. Considering that Nadia is both a pro wrestler and actress, she could have timed her convulsions with the stunt cocks heart pumps much better. Come on now, people. Let’s not get lazy here.
Nadia is one of the best folks to get a custom order from in the biz. Where else are you going to see a blow job and figure four leg lock at the same time? Sometimes I want to see a bitch fucked on a table before she’s body slammed through it.
As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, Nadia has one hell of an Only Fans account. When you’re a porn star / competitive eater / horror film actress with an Only Fans, who knows what the fuck could happen. It’s a fucking circus in here. I won’t even try to describe it. You just have to subscribe.
Fortunately, a subscription to Nadia’s Only Fans only runs ten bucks a month. However, if you’d like to save a few dollars, you can buy three months for five percent off, six months for fifteen percent off, or one year for twenty-five percent off.
Throwing Hands
Nadia’s next wrestling match takes place on January 15th in Winfield, WV. And it’s no regular match. Nadia will be fighting for the lady’s title. I wasn’t lying when I said this bitch is good at what she does.
If you’re in the area, tickets are twenty bucks and come with pizza and a beverage. It’s a DVD taping, so make sure to look your best. It’s a black-tie event.
While it’s unlikely that you’ll ever get Nadia into your basement-dwelling, you can book her for a Skype call. It’s the closest you’ll ever get to sliding your penis deep inside this bitches guts.
If you have a feeder fetish, this Nadia is perfect for you. You’ll be shocked how much this little lass can cram down her gullet. I’m talking about both food and penises.
Being a pro wrestler, Nadia is a strong bitch. She can lift a lady up and drop her on her head with ease. One of her goals for the coming year is to crush a watermelon between her thighs. Fuck a watermelon. How about you crush me between your thighs, Nadia? I’m a willing volunteer but be warned. I may spray cum during the process.
Sploog Goof
On top of everything else, Nadia is a goofy cunt with a great sense of humor. I love the picture she posted on December 12th of her in a horse stance and raised boxing gloves with the caption, “Oh, the sights you’ll see when you live with me. Shot a bunch of fun customs today.” Yes, you did, Nadia, and they look great.
Every time Nadia sells one of her Amy Winehouse clips, a sale announcement is posted to Twitter. I wish I were more surprised by how many she’s selling, but I’m not. I think that means we should all be concerned about the future of humanity.
Nadia recently had someone attempt to hack into her email ad Twitter account. It’s been happening to porn stars a lot lately since old Musky boy took over Twitter and started Twatting it up. Be sure you’re not tricked into following a fake Nadia White account. Trust me. It’s worth finding the real thing.
If you’re pondering getting Nadia a Christmas gift, might I recommend some rope? She posted about it and promised more bondage content next year if someone bought it. I bet the guy who pulls the trigger will get his own clip.
Nadia is in a category of her own. I know a million porn stars, but none are also horror actors, competitive eaters, and pro wrestlers. That’s quite the combination.
I think the only thing Nadia’s Twitter is missing is clips of her eating naked. I guarantee tens of thousands of men out there want to see her do that shit. Why leave them hanging?
You won’t find many Nadia Whites in the world, so jerk off to her as often as you can.