There isn’t much to do in Ohio but drink and watch paint dry. That’s why you don’t hear of people visiting Cleveland on a weekend vacation. You’re better off checking it out on Google Maps and never setting foot inside city limits.
Bordom Becomes Porndom
I propose that it’s Ohio’s lack of shit to do that inspires so many porn stars to come out of the Buckeye State. If your looking for something to do instead of (or in addition to) drinking and watching paint dry, sex is your only option. It’s free, you can do it anywhere, and it hasn’t been made illegal yet.
Quick warning to republicans. If you get in the way of me fucking, I’ll slowly kill all of you and bury you under an upside-down cross. I’ll turn all of fucking Ohio into a mass grave and then fuck all your moms and sisters in a church. My dick isn’t fucking around. But that’s enough threats. I’m just trying to defend our right to penetrate holes.
And when it comes to holes I want to penetrate, Gia Derza’s is high on the list. This twenty-four-year-old bombshell doesn’t look a day over eighteen, and I don’t think she will until forty.
Gia was born in December of 1998 in Mayfield, Ohio. She spent her youth playing soccer, but the moment she hit puberty Gia knew she was hypersexual. She hadn’t even come close to graduating when she decided to be a porn star when she grew up.
Let this be a lesson to you. You can set goals and achieve them if you believe in yourself. One day you could move out of your parent’s basement and into a studio apartment near a garbage dump that stores nuclear and biological waste. Hey, it’s better than hearing your mom yell at your dad for farting in his sleep again.
Gia wasn’t just imagining pipe dreams. She started watching and studying porn at a young age. It was like going to porn college while still in high school.
In an attempt to be an ordinary member of society, Gia went to Kent State for two years focusing on sociology and criminology. What is it about porn stars and psychological forensics? They seem to love it. That is until they get a mouthful of hot cum with a Cannon camera pointed at them.
Opening Her Holes for Business
In 2018, at the ripe young age of twenty, Gia finally gave up on living a normal life and entered porn. She had the lucky opportunity to meet porn legend Abella Danger early on, and Abella got Gia in contact with Spiegler Girls, who still represent her to this day.
Spiegler is one of the biggest names in porn agencies, so it didn’t take long after signing for Gia to shoot with some major studios. To date, she has filmed over five hundred and thirty scenes with folks like Burning Angel, Jules Jordan Video, Hard X, Evil Angel, Pure Taboo, Zero Tolerance, Girlfriends Films, Naughty America, Tushy, 3rd Degree, Reality Kings, Digital sin, and Deeper. And that’s not even a complete list. Gia is one busy whore.
People have tried to pirate Gia’s account in the past, so her description is dedicated to informing you that this is her only Twitter account. Don’t believe the others. They’ll be deleted within days of creation.
She also provides a link to her All My Links account, where you can find everywhere that Gia posts content. As I said before, the bitch gets around, so she has content spread all over the internet.
Gia joined in August of 2017 and has gathered two hundred and twenty thousand followers since then. Those aren’t the biggest numbers, but more are added daily. Give her some more time, and she’ll be over half a million before you know it.
Like a Windsock
I have to give Gia credit for her choice of pinned tweet at the top of her page. Most ladies don’t get too hardcore with their pinned tweets, but not Gia. Gia is an all-or-nothing kind of girl.
You see, Gia has an extremely stretchy (or loose) asshole, and she wants everyone to know it upon their arrival. That’s why the thirty-second pinned clip is all about her gaping o-ring.
Not only does she sit on a girthy dildo and show us her cave. She also fists herself past the wrist. I can’t imagine the things her anus has seen in its journey to lose all elasticity. The thing looks like a Sarlacc pit. When she swims, a whirlpool forms around her poop shoot.
As with almost all modern porn stars, Gia has a Many Vids account where you can buy exclusive content. However, she doesn’t have your everyday Many Vids account where bitches tickle their gash and ride the occasional cock.
No, no, no. Gia is too much of a naughty girl for such vanilla intercourse. Instead, she likes to take her porn to new heights. For example, her video “Squirt Drinking Slut,” where Gia chugs her own squirt juice out of a doggy dish and spits it all over her floor. Afterward, she gives herself a little shower and shows off her naked body.
Everybody has their thing, and Gia loves a nicely curved penis. For those not in the know, curving of the penis is called Peyronie’s, and it’s caused by scar tissue buildup. This can be from trauma or regular use, depending on your biology.
Some ladies love a curved penis because it provides more friction or hits the G-spot. It’s the upward-curved cocks that tend t hit the G-spot the best, so if that’s you and you’re self-conscious, don’t be. Besides, a bitch can’t see your dick when it’s inside of her.
Gia recently sucked a dick that took a hard left turn a third of the way up the shaft. It’s far from a light curve. I’d say it bends about forty-five degrees.
Size Queen
When your asshole is a gaping maw and churning chasm, a little dick isn’t going to do the trick. When your anus looks like the cuff of a pair of bell-bottom pants, not even an average-size wang will do. If Gia wants to feel anything in her colon, she has to call in the big guns.
That’s how she ended up on the cover of Anal Size Queens. The industry knows her asshole can take it, so she gets a lot of big-dick anal scene requests. Fortunately, her asshole is one of the hardest workers on the planet, so it never turns a gig down. Its work ethic will put a Mexican immigrant to shame. It’s like a Duracell battery but with poop inside.
I am reminded of an often repeated English idiom first uttered by Friedrich Nietzsche, “If you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” I’d like to make a slight adjustment, if you don’t mind, Friedrich. Mine goes, “If you gaze into Gia’s abyss, the abyss gives you a massive erection.”
While Gia has an Only Fans account, there are also tons of Only Fans imitators out there. Gia is a member of one of the rarer outfits, Lover Fans. If you enjoy Only Fans, you’ll also enjoy Lover Fans. Plus, you can see Gia there, along with a host of other popular porn stars.
Double Down
I had a feeling that before I was done scrolling and writing this article, I would run into a clip of Gia with two dildos in her ass. To be honest, it looks like she has room for a third. Even after the third dildo is inserted, she still might have a couple of cubic inches left for a midget dick.
While Gia’s asshole is usually the star of the show, she has no qualms about shooting lesbian scenes also. And they don’t even have to include her bum being penetrated by a strap-on dildo. She’ll munch carpet with the best of them.
And while you’ll have to hunt for it, Gia has occasionally been known to have vaginal sex with a penis. It’s rare, but it’s out there if you’re patient and observant.
Gia is an anal princess with an asshole that could swallow a Cooper Mini. The bitch still looks like a teen and probably will until she drops. One thing’s for sure, though. Her asshole doesn’t look eighteen anymore.
My only suggestion for Gia is to toss in the occasional pussy fucking. It’s nice to mix things up every once in a while.
There is no way you could like anal sex and not love Gia, so give her a test run on Twitter today.