I’m not stating anything contentious when I suggest that men love seeing women in the buff. It’s a fact of life as absolute as our blue sky. It is an autonomous force of nature that can not be stopped. It is an everlasting reality and a sacred edict. As sure as the moon will rise in the evening, men will endeavor to see as many women nude as they possibly can. Any man not doing so is either depressed or gay.
Every Woman is a Stripper in my Mind
This means that any bitch a dude sees on the regular is stripped down mentally during every exchange. If any ladies are reading this article for some unknown reason, I want you to know that every man at work pictures you naked every day, even if you are ugly. We can’t turn it off. Our minds are endlessly inquisitive about tight naked pussy. Humanity depends on it.
Anytime men and women are in the same room together, perverted thoughts abound. It doesn’t matter if it’s a church or a brothel. A dude’s brain can even modify sexual arousal to help us fuck ugly sluts if that’s all that’s around.
Boat Goggles
Among sailors in the Navy, there is a phrase known as boat goggles. When a bunch of guys and gals are stuck together on a small boat for months on end, sex runs rampant. By the end of a six-month expedition, there isn’t a single surface on deck that hasn’t been doused in cum. You could put the most fuckable virgin models on a boat with the ugliest old dudes, and someone is still getting turned out. What happens on the ship stays on the ship.
I want to make it clear, if I haven’t already, that the reason I don’t watch fake taboo porn is because I’m a better person than you. You guys should join me. I may have an idea of how you got here, but I still do not approve. That should cut deep. It’s like Ozzy Osbourne telling someone they do too many drugs.
We live in a world more connected than ever before in history. The boat called Planet Earth is getting smaller and smaller by the day. Between jets, the internet, and smartphones, there are no faraway lands anymore. But who the fuck are all these people on the USS Earth?
We all may be floating on this bitch, but most of us live in complete anonymity. The same can’t be said about celebs, though. Celebs are entities we all want to fuck. Celebs are the guests we all know on the boat of life.
A Whole New World
For far too long, pervs had to stare longingly at the likes of Audrey Hepburn and Greta Garbo with no clue how they might look stripped naked. That all ended when cameras were added to cell phones. Suddenly sluts everywhere could take nude pictures of themselves. All that was missing was a proper website to display all these nude celebrities. That’s where r/CelebsWithBigTits comes into play.
Perhaps back in the days of yore, when the cellphone camera was first developed, you could conceal your nudes like prized gems, but everything is on the cloud these days. No matter how hard you attempt to keep your shit disguised, someone will locate the nudes and release them to the hounds. This goes doubly so for famous bitches.
One of the best moments of my life, and for r/CelebsWithBigTits, was The Fappening. I still remember coming to on that fateful morning and hearing the good news. The gospel, if you will. Being associated with the porn universe as I am, I heard through the grapevine that there would be a gigantic release of celebrity nudes a couple of weeks before it happened, but I didn’t fully believe it. Fortunately, for perverts everywhere, I was quite wrong.
For the uninitiated, The Fappening was a massive dump of celeb nudes posted on Aug 31st, 2014. Hackers worked for weeks collecting all the content. Lesser men would have kept that treasure to themselves, but not these gents. They had souls kind enough to distribute this gold to the masses. Looking back, I don’t know how I made it so long, not knowing what Kate Upton’s tits looked like. My life is so much better now.
I cannot overstate how massive the Fappening file was. Enough celeb porn was released to keep even the most dedicated jackers busy for a while. The only question is, where is the best place to view this shit. Better yet, how do I only see the ones with big tits? The content has made its way to many places, but they are not all alike. If you want the best in big-tittied nude celebs, you need to visit r/CelebsWithBigTits.
Read It, Jacked It
The name says it all, gents. When you combine the power of famous big tits with the browsing ease of Reddit, you have a recipe for rope-slinging. I hope you don’t have any plans because you’re about to black out for a few hours and come covered in your own cum.
Reddit is a discussion, content rating, and social news aggregation site based in the United States. Users can add any content they like, letting members vote on its importance and entertainment value. The content could be images, videos, links, or text.
Reddit is separated into subjects called subreddits. Any member can make a new subreddit, but it better be amusing if you want anyone to know about it. That is unless you’re creating a subreddit for personal use, which is allowed.
Since its release, Reddit has flipped the internet on its head. The name is a reference to the phrase “read it.” It’s intended to indicate that Reddit users know about significant news and events before anyone else, and that holds true for daily users.
Reddit is currently the tenth most popular site on the web. That’s quite an incredible feat. However, that shit didn’t happen overnight. Reddit was created in 2005 by University of Virginia roommates Steve Huffman and Alexis Ohanian, along with Aaron Swartz. Only a year later, they sold the site to Conde Nast Publications.
From there, the possibilities for Reddit were endless. In 2015 Reddit raised fifty million dollars in a funding run to update the place. That’s when Reddit took things up a notch or two.
Porn has always been a part of the Reddit zeitgeist. It wasn’t the site’s actual purpose, but porn suited it perfectly. Reddit makes browsing so fun and easy. Of course, it’s ideal for porn consumption.
The Meat and Potatoes
Speaking of porn consumption, let’s look at some of the hot porn on CWBT. Leading the pack in hot content is Heather Graham changing her shirt and bra. Perfect isn’t a good enough word to describe how immaculate her tits are. You don’t get better C-cups than that. They are the essence of perfection. They were crafted by the hands of a loving and horny God.
Next up is Leni Klum. Some of you may remember the world-famous model Heidi Klum, who had her hay day in the 90s and 00s. Well, she has a daughter who is even hotter and recently started modeling.
The things I’d do to Leni can’t be spoken of, even on The Porn Dude. Suffice it to say I’d rearrange those guts with such gusto she’d need a torso transplant. I don’t even think that’s a thing.
Her double Ds make my mouth water. I think I can taste them now. It’s like starbursts mixed with stardust. And I bet her pussy tastes like rose water and lily pads. I’d let the guy from “The Human Centipede” sew my mouth to her labia.
Reddit is one of the best ways to browse porn. The amount of content you can get through in an hour is stupendous. That will be very helpful as you explore CWBT. You’ll want to inject those big celeb tits into your brain at the fastest rate possible. It’s never enough.
The only thing CWBT is missing is more sex scenes. With the advent of streaming, there are more sex scenes in popular TV these days than ever before. Let me see some of the action on CWBT.
Halle Bailey, Anne Hathaway, and Sydney Sweeney are looking for you on CWBT. Don’t keep them waiting.