Man has sought divine truth since first looking up at and comprehending the night sky. The search for something greater than us is integral to a cohesive civilization full of pleased denizens. Yet, despite thousands of years of research by cavemen, scientists, and sages alike, we haven’t come much closer to securing a group reality.
Titties are Jiggling
However, despite these struggles, man has been able to shake free several fruits from the forbidden tree of knowledge. For example, when Einstein was asked if he knew anything for sure, he responded that he knew something was moving. I’m no physicist, but it sounds like Einstein suggested that the universe twerks.
While I may not be a physicist, I am still a scholar. A scholar of pussy, tits, and ass. A scholar of sluts. A scholar of porn. But most importantly, a sage of stroking. My subject matter may not be as respected as studying the nature of the universe, but it’s every bit as important and arguably used more often. Men don’t have to define gravity on a daily basis, but they do have to jerk off. Even Einstein choked the chicken. Plus, it just so happens that my field of expertise contains several objective truths.
Of these truths, one of the most stalwart is that men love large boobs. Just as every physical object in this universe is moving, every man’s dong is raised by the site of some awesome breasts. It’s a guarantee. You can bet your bottom dollar on it. Just look at how popular subreddits like r/CasualJiggle are. The bitches there aren’t even trying to be sexy, and men still can’t get enough.
So Much to Love
The list of reasons men love tits is ever-growing. I come up with new ones every day. First and foremost, they represent virility. Our wangs don’t just want to fuck sluts for no reason. They want to fuck bitches with the hopes of releasing baby batter as close to a bitches ovaries as possible. The dick cries out for spawn creation, and tits are like a glowing lighthouse guiding fertile males toward the vagina. Think of them like the dude at an airport with two flashlights guiding planes into parking spots, except replace the dude with tits, the aircraft with a penis, and the parking spot with pussy.
The tit’s you’ll find on r/CasualJiggle are more than enough to guarantee a bitch’s fecundity. You might get one of these sluts pregnant by accidentally getting some cum on your computer screen, so make sure to aim away.
Tigg-o-bitties also tell a man that once his kid is born, a slut will be able to feed the baby as much milk as they can drink. I don’t know about you, but I want my little one to drown in titty milk if they wish to. Although to be fair, I also want to be soaked in titty milk, and massive mama milkers mean there should be some leftovers for me.
There is more milk on r/CasualJiggle than there is on r/DairyCows. I attempted to break out my calculator and make a rough estimation, but it was impossible. The numbers are astronomical. My calculator isn’t powerful enough. I’d need a supercomputer.
Big tits are definitely a status symbol. As a man, if you’ve got yourself a lady with bulbous knockers, it lets the world around you know you’re an alpha and not to be trifled with. I never go out without at least two pairs of big tits, one flanking each arm. Some guys wear chains, some drive luxury whips, and some, like me, surround themselves with fuckable cunts.
Your Porche might be fast, but can you stick your dick in it? Let me rephrase that question. Can you stick your dick in it without needing a skin graft afterward? Besides, guys only buy the car to get the girl. It just so happens that I’m alpha enough to skip the car and go straight to the girl. That’s what we call steez, ladies and gents.
Alpha Milkers
The ladies on r/CasualJiggle know that tits are a status symbol. That’s why they show them off on the internet for all to see. They’re bolstering their position in the world one cock at a time.
They are welcome to bolster themselves with my cock. I can tell you right now that I could pick up any of the ladies on r/CasualJiggle, even if I were driving a 1991 Toyota Camry. The back seat would be soaked in cum and pussy juice.
Unfortunately, my readers have never seen a pair of big tits in real life. That is unless your mom has big tits. It’s a damn shame. I have pity for you. A man doesn’t have to touch his tits to feel the light of their glory. I can feel the vibes of a nice pair from one hundred yards away. However, once you get into range and rub them, the feeling can only be described as pure unadulterated joy. Touching boobs is the secret to a long and happy life.
That means you fucks haven’t sucked on a titty, either. It’s meditative. If you were having a rough day, you aren’t anymore after sucking titty. You could be swearing retribution while standing above the carcass of your recently murdered grandmother, but if a nipple lands between your lips, all the rage will disappear. As I said before, men are simple creatures.
You can’t suck a titty on r/CasualJiggle, but visiting the subreddit still feels relaxing and meditative. If you have high blood pressure, r/CasualJiggle could save your life one day, and you’ll have me to thank. I expect to receive an email of appreciation if so.
There is no better location to take a post-nut nap than on some soft titty meat. The fatty tissue inside the boobs is the ideal density to support the head and neck. That shit is like a sleeping pill mixed with Sleepy Time Tea. I’m pretty sure I’ve come close to death taking a post-nut nap on some double Ds.
Sadly, after you nut to porn on r/CasualJiggle, you won’t be able to nap on a bitch’s breasts unless your mom is available. Sadly, judging by how much you bastards like taboo porn, you probably wouldn’t mind a post-nut nap on your mom’s bare tits.
Double Ds are just the beginning of big tits. The alphabet has twenty-four letters, and D is only the fourth. You haven’t experienced joy until you’ve rammed your wang between two M-cup leviathans. It feels like your fucking a non-newtonian fluid. My eyes crossed so hard I could see my frontal lobe. I thought I’d need surgery to get them fixed.
All Sizes Welcome
Because of how popular big tits are, there is no lack of representation in porn. Every porn site on planet Earth features some big tits. However, r/CasualJiggle loves all forms of tits. If you prefer medium or small tits, r/CasualJiggle has plenty of content for you. I’m the kind of guy who loves all forms of titty regardless of size.
However, my readers have high standards. Since they can’t touch and suck titties of any variety, they demand only the best in digital titty entertainment. That’s why you come to an alpha male like me. You’ll be glad to know that while size varies on r/CasualJiggles, quality does not. All the bitches here have incredible boobs. They’ll keep you coming back again and again.
On top of all the great content, Reddit is an excellent website. While not initially crafted for porn, it works quite well as an adult outlet. This goes doubly so if you prefer to watch porn on mobile. You may never look up from your phone again.
There are a few ladies you’ll see quite a bit of on r/CasualJiggle. One of those is Sophie Mudd. Sophie is a drop-dead gorgeous adult model with a body that should be immortalized in granite. Everything from the top of her head to the end of her toes is perfect.
Her tits make ideal fodder for r/CasualJiggle, and her posts always earn tons of upvotes. If you’re looking for someone to post, look into Sophie. She never disappoints.
r/CasualJiggle is a superb porn subreddit that makes looking away nearly impossible. You won’t be able to stop yourself from endlessly scrolling your day away.
As great as r/CasualJiggle is, I wouldn’t mind seeing some more racial diversity. I’m an equal-opportunity masturbator. When you watch as much porn as I do, variety is key.
I won’t stand in your way any longer. Quit reading this article and head over to r/CasualJiggle this instant.