Do you recall the good old days of going to friends’ houses for sleepovers? Many people fondly reflect on staying up late into the night with their best pals, playing PlayStation, eating Starbursts, and drinking Mountain Dew. It’s the embodiment of youth well spent. Here’s the thing. I rarely had sleepovers with my best friends. Why? Simple. I have standards, and most of my friends’ moms were beaten with the ugly stick after birth.
Operation Titty Glimpse
I didn’t sleep over at friends’ houses because I enjoyed their company. What do I look like, a pussy? All that matters to me is that their mom is horny, fuckable, and hates their husband. I could deal with the most boring nerds or most volatile bullies as long as mama dukes had a nice set of knockers. I’d spend the entire time trying to sneak a peek at the goods by any means necessary. I have a sixth sense for exposed genitalia. It’s a superpower of mine.
This had to be done with exceptional caution. If someone’s mom catches you beating off in the corner of their bedroom, you’ll never be invited back over again. It seems unfair, but you can’t blame them. Semen is a tough stain to get out of drapes. Not only that, but you’re using up all the lotion in the house.
Stiffler’s Mom and Mrs. Robinson
I’m not the only motherfucker who appreciates a fuckable mother. Ever since the movie “American Pie” came out in 1999 featuring Jennifer Coolidge as Stiffler’s mom, young men everywhere have fantasized about their favorite milfs. Her enormous fake tits, bulbous lip injections, and pouty duck-like facial expression defined what being a milf was in the 2000s. That movie had a whole generation of men sticking their cock in pies while thinking about naked forty-five-year-olds.
Her contribution to milf history is cemented in places like r/TheMilfNextdoor. r/TheMilfNextdoor is one of my favorite milf subreddits. They know what the fuck they’re doing. The only thing I like more than milf porn is amateur milf porn. It’s a match made in heaven. These random moms wouldn’t have the confidence to post pictures of their naked bodies if it weren’t for Jennifer Coolidge.
But Jennifer wasn’t the first milf to shine a light on the advantages of fucking older ladies. “The Graduate” got the ball rolling long before “American Pie.” The term “Mother I’d Like to Fuck” hadn’t even been invented yet, let alone reach the average motherfuckers lexicon. Anne Bancroft played the iconic role of Mrs. Robinson in the late sixties, at the peak of the sexual revolution. That timing helped to stamp the milf into male brains for decades to come.
Mrs. Robinson walked so Stiffler’s mom could run. And now, all the fine ladies on r/TheMilfNextdoor are sprinting as fast as their sexy legs can take them.
The ideal milf is like a fine wine. She’s aged to the point of perfect fuckability. Not enough years have passed for her body to be ruined by the cruel hands of time, yet she’s still well-seasoned. Her skills have been honed. She has pleased plenty of men over the years by that point and has an understanding of how to make penises fire sperm. Dumb-ass, inexperienced teens wouldn’t know what to do with a dick if it slapped them in the face. Trust me. I have slapped plenty of teens in the face with my cock.
The term milf indicates that a cunt’s cunt has pumped out a few spawns. Beta males assume child delivery means that a bitch’s gash is stretched out, but you would be very wrong. Giving birth strengthens a bitches pussy like nothing else. Moms have insane internal control of their pussies.
It’s almost as if the vagina becomes prehensile like a thumb. It might startle you initially but don’t fret. It feels like a bitch has a midget shoved up her cooter that is beating you off with its tiny hands, but that’s just her pelvic floor muscles squeezing around your dick like a rear naked choke. When you pull it out, it will look like chewed gum.
You can see evidence of this control on some r/TheMilfNextdoor posts. Keep an eye out for bitches flicking the bean. You’ll notice that sometimes a bitch’s pussy puckers and relaxes as she stimulates her clit. I call that vacuum pussy. It’s perhaps my favorite form of pussy. It’s like fucking a bitch who replaced her pussy with a Fleshlight from the future.
The Goods
Let’s see what some of these motherly sluts are up to in the hot posts on r/TheMilfNextdoor. “That Bottom Heavy Mom 39f” is a classic teasing post that’s quite popular here. The clip starts with her clothed and ends with her shorts being pulled down to expose her fat ass.
“Your Face Belongs Right Between My Ass Cheeks” takes the booty teasing to the next level. This bitch has her cheeks spread, her asshole out, and pussy wet. I call that assuming the position.
I noticed that some of the ladies on r/TheMilfNextdoor are fishing for compliments, and I don’t mind. They say shit like, “Look at my mom’s body,” when they clearly don’t have a mom’s body. Bitches look like a twenty-year-old marathon runners and still say they have a mom bod.
However, what that really translates to is a lack of confidence I can use to my advantage. Only a few compliments stand between me and that bitch’s pussy. I love when the harshness of daily existence has done the hard work of foreplay for me.
Milfs really love showing off their pussies on r/TheMilfNextdoor. They are as common as titty and ass shots. I love a pretty pussy. Who doesn’t? Some men don’t appreciate the aesthetic glory of the vagina. It’s objectively more attractive than a dangling Johnson. Straight men and lesbians really lucked out.
If any of you fucks out there are into strong women, they often frequent r/TheMilfNextdoor. These bitches could pick you up like a ragdoll and toss you into the wall like a softball pitch. I would fuck with them, but I would just plain fuck them.
Talk about strong vagina muscles. If a bitch has kids and works out, that pussy is about to feel like a vice grip.
Milfs are one of the most popular genres of porn available, and r/TheMilfNextdoor has an incredible supply of the stuff. These amateur cunts could go pro anytime they wanted. Teens might be fresh, but they don’t know what the fuck is up. Nobody rides dick like a milf can.
The only problem with r/TheMilfNextdoor is that Imgur stopped hosting adult content, and it through Reddit for a loop. By the time you’re reading this, the situation may have already been handled.
An unlimited supply of milfs awaits you on r/TheMilfNextdoor. You better start working your way through them immediately.