The only thing better than watching free porn on the internet is watching free porn that you own. I hate it when I’ve just nutted to 5-star porn knowing I don’t own it myself. As hard as I try to remember or take notes, I end up losing favorites all the time. My brain is peppered with holes after years of steady porn viewing. Things like memory have gone out the window.
Sure, places like pornhub have a massive selection to choose from. It hasn’t been curated at all, though. I can guarantee every single porn in my personal collection will have you busting a nut in no time. I dare you to attempt to last 3 minutes.
Anytime I’m on the road traveling, I don’t have to worry about having an internet connection. I grab one of my external hard drives, and I’m set. I have no concern if I’ll be able to get a nut off when I need to. Fuck, I can just pull the car over and jerk off right there, on the side of the road. That’s freedom, baby. Isn’t freedom what the founding fathers intended?
Much of my library has made its way to me via Ptorrents. They have a massive selection of terrific porn ripe and ready for download. Unlike many torrent sites, there are no hoops and hurdles to surmount before getting at the good stuff.
BAM! PORN!
Ptorrents is unadorned and right to the point. Just white background with a black menu banner. Boom, done. Your options to choose from are special porn movies, movies, adult anime and games, erotic, foreign, and tracklist. Each option has a subsequent drop-down menu as you run a cursor over it. You will have no trouble finding what you’re looking for. It’s a perfect menu for managing the type of content available to Ptorrents.
I won’t go through every single sub-category, but I’ll take you on a tour of the highlights.
My readers will end up spending much of their time on “special porn movies.” That’s where all the good stuff is for you miscreants. Get all the piss, bukkake, and chicks with dicks you can handle. There is enough piss on this site to fill up the pacific. Bitches get pissed on, bitches piss on people, and bitches get dipped in piss. As many things as you can do with water, you can do with pee.
Speaking of secretions, we can’t forget sperm. It’s the reason we’re all here, isn’t it? And the more, the merrier, correct? That’s what bukkake thinks. Every number of dick from two to one hundred is covered. There’s no such bullshit as too much of a good thing.
Your dick is tiny and miserable. If it wasn’t before, it certainly is now that you’ve beat it to a pulp. Your stallion is more of a pony. That’s why God invented the fist. Sure, you can also use tools or punch faces with them, but that’s not the intended purpose. When your cock fails, jam your whole hand in a cunt. Maybe if you stretch her out a bit, you won’t cum the second your petered out peter touches the labia.
WHATS YOUR FETISH?
Of all the special porn movie sub-categories, you will all spend the most time with fetish. It’s where all the shit they couldn’t fit anywhere else goes. So, you know, the good stuff. Some of the repeat offenders here are breathplay. Bitches are getting zip-locked up before receiving a hard cock. Fine by me; as long as a bitch isn’t breathing through her pussy, who cares what’s happening with her vital organs?
There is loads of nylon happening also. People nut on them, choke each other with them and shove them into their orifices. The smooth fabric means you don’t even need lube, unlike stupid cotton or polyester. Even lubed up, you have to stuff those fabrics in like she’s a thanksgiving turkey.
Movies split up into regular, Hd, Russian, and VR. You know me, I’m an HD man. I want the nitty-gritty details. At this point, my cock’s disappointed by the frame rate of real pussy.
I’m sure I don’t have to tell you Russia is home to some of the most beautiful women in the world. Why don’t you jerk off to one real quick? This article will wait for you to come back.
VR
Wooooweeee. If you haven’t strapped on a VR helmet and watched porn in 3D, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. It’s disorienting at first due to its realism. Between a helmet and a fleshlight, I think it might be better than fucking. No talking, dinners, or fucking bullshit. Just cunts willing to do everything you want and a pussy that stays virgin tight every time.
Anime and games are just that, no crazy submenu here. As you can imagine, a VR helmet and porn video games go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. You’ll forget you’re not fucking. That is until you remember no bitch would ever fuck you like this for real. That’s why you spent 1000 bucks on the VR set up in the first place.
The uninitiated will be blown away by the sheer volume of porn games. With so many indie developers these days, porn games are coming out of the woodworks. It’s a great way for game developers to make a buck and jerkers to pretend to fuck.
If you read my article enough, I don’t have to say much about anime. It’s the best thing to happen to porn since sliced bread. Everything a real woman can’t do, a cartoon one can. Do you want a bitch to sit on your face so hard you get sucked up into her birth canal? They got that. Do you want to explore a bitche’s asshole in a tiny dick-shaped submarine? They got that too.
The erotic category is full of what one could call classic porn. Nothing too out of the ordinary here. Think playboy in torrent form. If you’re not looking to leave the pocket, this is your spot. Catch some hot bitches getting naked and flicking the bean.
This category even works its way around to softcore. I have a feeling you fucks couldn’t get hard to softcore porn if your life depended on it. Or perhaps your cock is such a sad heap you cum in ten seconds to a light breeze. I bet all of you shit sacks fall into one of those categories.
JAV
Foreign porn movies should just be called JAV because that’s all there is. It’s fine with me. If I’m watching foreign porn, it’s usually JAV anyway. The Japanese know how to make porn. It’s as if they’ve been studying it for 1000s of years. Not to mention those tiny, tight Japanese pussys look so inviting.
As you may have guessed, the tracker is a link to BitTorrents trackers. You bastards won’t even notice it. The only thing you’re spending time downloading is cooter. Who has time for anything else?
Ptorrents is one of the most accessible porn torrent sites to download off. You don’t have to select from four download options, with each wanting you to pay for premium service. It always turns out “premium service” translates to “the only way this shit will work.” On here, you’re only a couple of clicks away from getting the porn I’m sure you need.
Ptorrents is packed with high-quality jerk bait. Bitches of all walks of life have found themselves in these catacombs. After all, if you’re going to piss on someone, best to do it on film. And if you’re going to film it, best distribute it free on the internet for friendly folks like us.
The menu set up on Ptorrents is fucking perfect. Drop-down sub-category menus are always slick and efficient. They don’t muddy up the page or get in the way of thumbnails. I’m trying to beat my meat, not wander a jungle of tags.
I love that the content ranges from pissing on a bitch while she’s vacuum-sealed in a food saver bag to a single boob. If you’re just getting started on your masturbation journey, this is a great place to work your way up the ladder.
I do have a couple of suggestions for improvement. The foreign porn movie category could use some more foreign porn. More countries are producing great porn than japan. There are 195 countries in the world. Are you telling me the only place making porn is Japan? Naaaaw!
Given the number of options, I was surprised to see some popular ones missing. Shit like Milf, teen, and lesbian. I love that they went deep and include stuff like piss, but what about the old trusty favorites?
Ptorrents is an incredible place. Few porn torrent sites have such variety while still keeping things manageable. What’s the point of having every porn ever in your library if I can’t find what I’m looking for?