Sometimes a Porn Hint is the only thing standing between you and a mind-blowing orgasm, which I suspect may be the reason you’ve ended up here at ThePornDude today. My whole thing is giving out hints as to where you can find the fap fodder of your wettest dreams, but the website I’ll be checking out today ain’t another video archive or nudie photo gallery to shake your dick at. No, this next joint will help you get your rocks off in much more physical ways than just a friendly nudge in the right direction.
PornHint.com is an online sex shop hawking lingerie, adult toys and accessories for grownups of all genders and orientations. They’ve been online for barely over a year, but they’re already pulling an impressive volume of traffic, with well over 100,000 visitors stopping by last month. I’m always looking for ways to spice up my daily fap tests while I review online porn, as well as toys to share with my guests on the PornDudeCasting couch, so I couldn’t wait to peruse the selection. Let’s see what we can find, shall we?
Anybody Need a Porn Hint?
PornHint comes out of the gate swinging hard the very moment you load up the front page. The presentation is nothing remarkable, neither flashy nor ugly, looking pretty much like any sex toy shop on the internet. Their logo is small and unobtrusive, pushed into the corner to make way for the goods, which is what they want you to see first. My dudes, I look at adult websites for a living, and these guys have one of the widest selections of adult products I’ve seen recently.
A lot of adult toy retailers have a particular focus, whether that’s buzzy gizmos for ladies, high-end dick strokers for dudes, or BDSM restraints for couples to punish and reward each other with. So many sites focus almost exclusively on realistic sex dolls that I’ve given them their own separate rankings and reviews here at ThePornDude. PornHint.com, on the other hand, takes such an everything-goes approach that I’m probably not going to be able to mention everything.
They’ve got it all, my friends. They’ve got dildos, vibrators, fap sleeves and automated cock suckers in all shapes, sizes and colors. They’ve got realistic high-end sex dolls, penis pumps and enlargers, butt plugs and those thrusting, pounding, jackhammering fuck machines you see in pornos and on webcams. I’ve reviewed a lot of these websites, and I don’t recall ever seeing an aisle of “Love Machines” anywhere else. I kind of thought they were all homemade.
Porn Hint also has a very extensive collection of sexy clothing for women. A spread of featured lingerie is one of the first things you’ll see upon loading their front page, along with nipple clamp jewelry and the kind of slingshot bikinis that Borat wears, though the models here are way hotter. There are also whole sections of crotchless lingerie, leggings, and booty-enhancing shapewear.
I was surprised by the overall range of the PornHint catalog, but I think Sex Furniture was the most unexpected section. They’ve got all kinds of kinky furniture like sex swings, breeding stands, queening chairs, pillories, punishment bucks, some elaborate rocking chairs costing thousands, and yes, even a couple variations on the St. Andrew’s Cross for tying up your lover spread eagle. I tend to associate these big-ass, high-dollar items with specialty BDSM retailers, so it’s really noteworthy to see them in what’s shaping up to be the Amazon of sex toy shops.
Free Shipping, Price Matching and Other Perks
These days, most online retailers offer free shipping, whether you’re buying wholesome holiday treats for your grandma or something for your wife to shove inside her butthole while you masturbate furiously. I wasn’t at all surprised to learn PornHint.com offers free worldwide shipping, but I was a little surprised when I checked out the terms. Unlike most online shops, there doesn’t seem to be a lower limit here. Your order will still ship free even if all you ordered was a $12 bottle of fisting lube.
Another unexpected perk is their 110% best-price guarantee, which ensures you pay the lowest price for any sex toy they’ve got in stock. If you find a BDSM anal hook on PornHint that’s $10 cheaper on another site, you get $11 off the price. Honestly, I don’t care that much about ten bones, but the price-matching can really come in handy with more expensive items like life-size sex dolls or that sex furniture I talked about.
Are you going to find lower prices elsewhere, though? One of the things that struck me as I browsed the catalog was how cheap some of these items are. They’ve got realistic artificial asses for well under a hundo, wearable auto-thrusting men’s strokers for under $40, and sexy panties starting at around ten bucks. I made the Amazon comparison a couple paragraphs ago, and I’m really starting to wonder if Porn Hint’s low pricing is related to the sheer volume of products they carry.
Porn Hint runs a lot of promos, so be sure to check out the current banners out front if you’re looking to really maximize your bang per buck ratio. As I type this up, they’re doing a Flash Sale with up to 30% off on sex doll butts, torsos, and whole-ass fake ladies. There’s a full-sized, big-eyed, purple-haired anime sex doll going for just under $400 right now, and she’d make the perfect waifu for a lot of weebs out there. It might be time to ask mom to raise your allowance, at least for this month.
WTF Is Up with These Reviews?
I clicked the thumbnail to take a closer look at the anime chick. She’s marked down from $628, so it’s a solid discount. PornHint is a Canadian company, but they’re telling me I can have this chick at my place here in the US in just ten days. I’ve spent longer than that just trying to get a Tinder chick to agree to a date, so I don’t mind waiting.
PornHint.com lets customers leave reviews, giving me a little more incentive to pick this chick up. She’s got a 5-star rating based on ten reviews, which sounds great, but I started getting skeptical once I actually started reading them.
There’s some weirdness to the reviews on the site that makes me doubt their authenticity. For one thing, everybody is using their full name, first and last. That’s weird on any ecommerce site, let alone a sex toy shop. At least half the names are female, which is even weirder when we’re talking high-end sex dolls, a market notoriously dominated by lonely men. Almost all the reviews are five stars, too, and a ton of them have broken English and weird syntax.
Wow. Maybe this really is the Amazon.com of sex toy shops. I don’t doubt that their products are great, fapworthy and fuckable, as they’re largely made my known and respected brands, but some of these reviews feel pretty sketchy. This ain’t uncommon around the web, and it ain’t always the fault of the website itself. As on Amazon, fake reviews are often posted by the manufacturers and wholesalers. My advice is to take reviews anywhere with a grain of salt. User reviews with original photos are the most trustworthy anywhere, and thankfully, you’ll find some of them here.
I’m really bummed about the potentially fake reviews, because they’re really the only negative element I found during my visit today. Everything else was impressive, from the insane range of products, to the free shipping and price guarantee, to the low pricing. I ended up doing some homework on Google to see if anybody’s had a bad experience with PornHint, but couldn’t find anything suspicious; they’re a legit company. They just might have a problem with fake reviews.
Welcome to the internet, I guess. PornHint.com may have grown big enough that they’re susceptible to common issues with ecommerce, but man, what a selection! This place really is a one-stop shop for all your sex and masturbation products, including some high-end specialty items that can be really difficult to source elsewhere. The range of dildos, strokers, sex dolls and lingerie are going to be the biggest draws here, but don’t forget about that free shipping and other perks.