The front page at Lovehoney says that “Great sex starts with good communication.” To illustrate their point, they’ve got a photo of a couple embracing in their underwear. The dude’s face is hidden, but she looks pretty happy. I wonder if it’s the loving arms wrapped around her that have got her so excited or just the fact that she’s holding a fancy clit stimulator in her free hand. Perhaps the message being communicated is that my dude needs to work on his pussy-licking skills, or maybe they’re just saying sex toys are an easy way to have a little more fun in the sack.
Lovehoney.co.uk calls itself The UK’s Favourite Adult Shop, a bold claim that at least has numbers to back it up. They get over three million visits a month, which isn’t chump change, so yeah: it’s safe to say a lot of perverts, couples, and generally horny folks are buying their sex toys here. The company was launched at the turn of the millennium, and that longevity alone tells you a lot about how satisfied people have been with their experiences. As if that isn’t enough, they’ve been stacking up awards from very early on in their history. Check out their Awards page if you want their full list of accolades, which include a shit-ton of nods from major industry players like XBIZ and AVN. Personally, I was more eager to check out their selection of things I could put my dick in.
Spreading Around a Little Love Honey
Before I started shuffling through Love Honey’s catalog of dildos, fleshlights, bondage kits, and cock rings, I scrolled to the bottom of their front page to read their little intro blurb. They brag about how they offer free delivery on orders over £40. Since they’re a UK-based company, I assumed this offer was only valid for UK residents. Well, it turns out I was selling them a little short because their Delivery Information page breaks down the rates for shipping around the world. You often have to spend more than £40 to get free shipping in other corners of the globe, but it’s nice to see free options for other locations. Hell, with rates like that, it may be worth the wait to get your numbing anal fisting gel from overseas.
Another one of the site’s massive selling points is its customer reviews. In 2024, you’ve got to be some kind of fucking moron if you’re still buying shit over the internet without reading reviews. I mean, shit, you probably get it since you’re reading this on the world’s best adult website review directory, but there are still a lot of suckers out there. With over a quarter of a million customer reviews of sex toys, you don’t have to feel around in the dark here. If you see a string of anal beads that looks like it might fit well up your butthole, check the reviews to make sure they aren’t breaking off in anybody’s rectum! (“Wrecked ’em? Damn near killed ’em!”)
Another perk offered at LoveHoney.co.uk is a 15% off coupon for new customers. It’s a pretty standard deal on shops around the internet, no matter what they’re selling: you give them your email address, and in exchange, you get a little break on your first order. And if you’re worried about the spam, you can unsubscribe to the marketing emails after cashing in that first-time discount. This isn’t your first rodeo, though, is it?
Just for argument’s sake, let’s assume that this is your first rodeo, at least when it comes to buying sex toys. I remember my first awkward teenage experience going into a sketchy sex shop full of weird smells, strange characters, and an overwhelming array of oft-dangerous-looking sexual implements. Of course, it’s a lot easier for first-timers on the internet, and Lovehoney does a better job than similar shops easing you into the world of adult toys.
They’ve got a whole section of products aimed at “Beginners,” which is excellent in a sell-you-stuff way. But they’ve also got a wealth of free, sex-positive information, including blog posts, guides, a sexual happiness podcast, and a forum for chatting with other well-stimulated customers. If you’re not sure what kind of toy to buy first, need some help with learning BDSM, or would just like to try a new sexual position, check out the site’s Advice section.
Love Honey for You and for Her
Now that I’ve explored the shop’s overall perks, it’s time to get into the actual products for sale. After all, the free shipping, discounts, and sex info don’t count for much if there isn’t much to play with during your most intimate moments. To that end, they divide the site up into a few broad categories based on who the products are for. I already mentioned the Beginners area, and there’s also a Lingerie section. And since they’ve got products aimed at men, women, and couples, those are the three main groupings divvied up out front.
Being a dude, I wanted to check out Lovehoney.co.uk’s For Him section first. The very first thing they showed me was a £70, 6-piece sex toy bundle with a butt plug, a fap sleeve, a rechargeable double cock ring, a warming/vibrating male masturbator, some sex toy wipes, and a storage bag. It’s a little more than I need right now, but it looks like you save nearly a hundred by purchasing them all as a set. Not bad.
The male-oriented products range from cheap Tenga eggs to high-end electronic cock massagers and even ultra-realistic premium sex dolls. If I were going to blow that much cash on a sex doll, I’d probably opt for one of the more full-featured doll shops I’ve reviewed for ThePornDude, but I appreciate how the Lovehoney offerings run the gamut from cheap to pricey. This is truly a sex store for the people.
I found a similar set of offerings in the For Her section. Again, they’re hyping big, cost-effective sex toy bundles for women. Again, I find cheap dildos, mid-priced vibrators, and more expensive products for the bougie bitches who’d prefer a stainless-steel wand up their bunghole or a top-of-the-line rabbit. There aren’t any real high-end sex dolls for women on Love honey, though there’s a disembodied dick, balls, and ass if you’d like to go for a ride when you’re home alone.
Love Honey for All of Us
I checked out the Love Honey’s For Us area next, where I found a ton of products aimed at couples. The featured bundle here is another six-piecer, this time featuring a powerful wand vibrator, a cock ring, and some kama sutra cards. I have to give it to whoever puts these bundles together because it’s a nice little bang for your buck, and all the products seem useful rather than filler.
I began adding items to my cart: first, a five-speed vibrating cock ring and a g-spot vibrator, followed by a BDSM restraint set that runs all the way around a mattress. As I thought of ways to use these products with my lady friends, I thought back to Lovehoney’s motto: Great sex starts with good communication. So how would I broach the subject of strapping a babe to a bed and going to town with a pair of nipple clamps and clit buzzer?
A lot of you rely on your old pal ThePornDude for advice on these topics, but Lovehoney had just what I needed just a few pixels away on the page. I read their article on How To Talk Dirty, followed by How To Introduce Bondage and How To Use Sex Toys With Your Partner. I know where I’m going to do my homework if I ever get brain damage and forget how to please a lady. (Until then, though, you can still watch me making pornstars cum over at PornDudeCasting!)
Lovehoney.co.uk has everything you could want in a sex toy shop, mainly all those intimate trinkets you can enjoy alone or with your significant other/escort. Their selection is wide, with adult products at every price range and a shit-ton of user reviews to help make your purchasing decision. Throw in all that sex-positive information they’ve included, and you’ve got yourself one hell of an online sex shop.