You despicable fart boxes already know where to discover the best new smut on the internet; The Porn Dude. I unfailingly have the answers to my reader’s self-love needs. Where else can you inquire, “Can the smallest midget fit into the largest pussy?”. (Yes) Or “Is it possible to shit, piss, and cum at the same time?” (I’m doing it right now)
Your Local Porn Guru
It would be negligent to suggest that I am anything but the ruling monarch of jerking kind. When you moan and yell out, “Dear God!” as you fire baby batter into your mom’s nice kitchen towels, what you really mean to say is, “Oh, Porndude! Thank you so much, Porndude! You are the deliverer of blessings and joy.” It’s a lot to scream out in one breath, but I would recognize your efforts. Porn reviewing can be a thankless job at times.
The contemporary era of smut has presented us with an entirely new type of porn. No longer are you permanently locked into a narrative, spoon-fed whatever the stupid writers have pre-filmed for you. We have evol;ved past such basic mechanisms. Now, for the first time in Earth’s history, you have a proper rationale to put your rod and tackle down; so you can pick up a game controller. That rationale is hentaibedta.net
When I need to throw a little extra pizzazz on my prolonged pocket pool sessions, I break out the adult video games. My readers are fully aware of how fun video games can be. Besides wrangling your willy, all you dip shits do is play Call of Duty, Fortnite, and Grand Theft Auto Five. I’m surprised you sad fucks ever find time to eat, drink, and sleep.
Tricking Your Stupid Brains
As fun as playing Skyrim or Modern Warfare is, playing porn games blows them out of the water. For beta pussies, it provides the ultimate escape from the stagnant pool of dog shit that is their lives. It doesn’t get any better unless you want to alpha up and get yourself some real pussy.
However, I doubt any of my readers will ever be able to transition from beta alpha. It’s nearly impossible. In fact, I’ve only ever seen it once, and that bastard had to sacrifice it all to gain everything.
There’s no way in hell you have the inspiration for such a powerful personal transformation, but that’s just fine as long as adult gaming exists. It can fill the void. However, you’ll need to develop certain talents to make the best use of porn video games. Fortunately, you bastards have me to help. You’re welcome.
First things first, You need an excellent porn video game site such as Hentai Bedta. Hentai Bedta is an anime adult gaming site brimming with some of the best hentai gaming experiences available. They’ve been around long enough to collect a massive library of games that will keep my readers busy until the sun goes out.
No matter what variant of hentai you’re into, Hentai Bedta has it. The wide range of artist approaches guarantees you fuckers won’t get bored. I hope you have packed balls because you won’t want to stop playing pocket pool, even after you jizz.
Knowledge is Power
Perhaps the most critical talent to grow is the capacity to use a controller in one hand while you beat your meat with the other. It’s not an easy task. At first, it will require all the focus you can summon, but it will become second nature after some formal training.
I suggest you practice rubbing your belly in a circular motion with one hand while patting the top of your head with the other. It will help your mind mentally separate your limbs so they can perform different tasks. If any of my readers happen to be drummers or organ players, you’ll already have a solid foundation built.
Once you’re confident with the basics, you can practice massaging your testies while working the shaft simultaneously. Newbies will think it unattainable, but with the correct technique, you can jimmy your willy and caress your cream savers at the same time. Please, believe me when I say it’s worth the effort of learning. Even if you don’t play porn games, you’ll find a valuable use of your new skill.
Once you become ambidextrous, Hentai Bedta will unlock for you in ways you could never imagine. You’ll struggle not to fill your shorts with cum the moment you arrive on site. It will be like Pavlov’s dogs. When your mind thinks about Hentai Bedta, your body shoots wads. It’s like tipping the first domino.
I also advise switching from lotion to water-based lubricants if you haven’t already. First, water-based lubricants make your hand feel closer to the real thing and don’t disappear into the skin immediately. Second, and more importantly, lube cleans out of a controller easier than lotion.
Scouring your controller will become a routine if you begin regularly wanking your ham candle to porn games. Lotion is a bitch. It stains, doesn’t rinse off, and barely evaporates, so either swap to lube or buy a new fifty-dollar controller every month.
You think you’ll be able to control yourself and not make a mess now, but once you get to gaming on Hentai Bedta, all decorum will fly out of the door. All you’ll be able to think about is the game, your cock, and the jizz welling in your balls.
If you think you can weasel around this advice by using your mouse and keyboard instead of a controller, boy, do I have news for you. You won’t be able to use your computer at all if you fuck up the keyboard and mouse. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a horror movie to me. I can’t live without my daily supply of internet porn.
Now that you have the base talents demanded to enjoy porn games, it’s time to educate yourself on the scene. Porn gamers are a dedicated bunch who don’t fuck around with their masturbation. These are some of the most talented self-lovers in the world. You can do so by reading all of my porn game reviews. There are plenty.
Toon Poon
Hentai Bedta doesn’t just focus on any type of porn video game. They specialize in hentai. When hentai and gaming join forces, they create an entity perfectly crafted for the extraction of jizz.
Anime brings the genuinely fantastical to life. The women depicted in Hentai don’t have much in common with the average cunt you’ll find wandering about the mall. The feats they accomplish are often physically inconceivable to a woman composed of flesh and bone.
Hentai is often the final stage of a man’s porn addiction—the final boss, if you will. Of course, some find the joys of hentai earlier than others, but it’s often to a masturbator’s disadvantage to dive in too early. It will cause your porn tolerance to soar before it can crawl.
It’s not just the bitches and how they fuck that is impossible. It’s also the reactions of bodies. I’ve never drilled a slut’s anus so vigorously that smoke rises like I’m starting a fire by rubbing sticks together. In hentai, on the other hand, it happens every damn day. Even the most vanilla anime includes little details as such.
Sexy Design
Hentai Bedta knows their site is incredible, so they don’t want the navigation to be difficult. They know most of the blood will be in your penis when you arrive, leaving very little left to run your brain.
The main menu resides up top and includes the options Home, News, Game doujins, Free hentai games, Play hentai games, How to play Hentai games, Advanced search, Password, About genres, Anime porn, Contact, and Search.
Down the right side is a navigational menu split into eight parts: Notice, Category, Discount invite link, Archives, Friends, Tags, Recent comments, and Test category menu.
Some examples of the categories on Hentai Bedta are 3D, Flash games, Hentai game English, Western comics, Hentai CG and pics, and Other stuff.
Down the center of the site is a list of games organized by the date added. Hentai Bedta adds content every week, so you fuckers will always have something new to try out.
Hentai Bedta is one of the top hentai porn sites on the net. I find myself visiting a few times every month and inevitably spending all day there. You’ll love the tight design, large selection, and creative art.
The only change I would suggest to Hentai Bedta is to expand the category list. It doesn’t properly represent the wide range of game types available.
There are a shit ton of games on Hentai Bedta, so if you want to play them all before you die, you better start now.