Despite the name, Escort.Club ain’t actually a club. That’s good news for most of you, because who really wants to join an exclusive organization just to bang a hooker? I don’t have anything against clubs, but sometimes it’s just a hell of a lot easier to find your thrill of the night on a directory of babes selling their services. You’d be shooting yourself in the dick if you limited yourself to just one agency or just one cathouse, no matter how well staffed it was with gorgeous whores.
Fortunately for horny johns everywhere, Escort.Club has ads from escorts and agencies all around the world. They’re a newer joint, launched just a few months ago, but their rapidly rising traffic gives me hope that they’re the next big thing. Going from zero to two million visits a month is a feat for any type of website, and a great sign on one where some of that traffic has got to be the escorts themselves. I’m always looking for temporary female companionship in my own hometown and throughout my travels around the world. With any luck, I’m about to find some gorgeous new friends for hire.
What a Classy Looking Joint
No shit, Escort Club is one of the nicer looking hooker directories I’ve seen lately. Sometimes they’re really barebones affairs, with sloppy text-based listings, ugly old graphics (if any at all), and a poor user interface. An ugly website can still be a workable one, but a pretty one is going to garner more attention from users. In this case, “users” means both escorts and their clients. That initial good impression is probably a big part of why this site is taking off so quickly.
The first thing you’ll see when you load it up is a big dropdown menu of countries and cities, with a SFW but suggestive image of a woman eating a strawberry in the background. There’s a simple yet classy Escort logo in the top corner, and a text list of Popular Cities below. Things get more explicit as you start scrolling, as the rest of the front page is plastered with thumbnails of escorts around the world.
I keep saying this is a worldwide directory, but there is a small catch that’s going to be a bummer to some of you horny fuckers out there. They’ve got ads from cities all over the planet, but their USA section is surprisingly empty, with exactly zero listings. It’s one thing to come up empty handed when you’re searching for sluts in Tanzania or Saudi Arabia, where the pickings may legitimately be nonexistent. If there are no American listings, it’s probably because they’re just not carrying them. Welcome to the legally gray world of escort sites. (If you’re in the states or another region unserved by Escort Club, be sure to check out my full list of Escort Sites here at ThePornDude!)
By default, the site showed me a bunch of thumbnails of European chicks when I first dropped in. There are chicks in Warsaw, Lodz, Cracow and Lublin out front, just to name a few. One thing I liked immediately is they allow explicit listings. A lot of the faces on the front page are blurred out, but I see a whole lot of titties, a bit of ass, and one girl wrapping her mouth around a fully uncensored dick. Some sites like to keep a silly veneer of wholesomeness, but I prefer this setup because it gives you a better idea of what you’re really going to get.
Let’s Find the Perfect Whore
There are a couple different ways to find your ideal escort on Escort. The first is just to click through to your favorite city and see who’s available. I find 14 sex ads in Bochnia, 23 in Zyrardow, and a dozen listed in Dzierzoniow. With small numbers like that, it ain’t too difficult to just look at the pics and see who grabs your eye. Right away, I found a thick Polish babe named Magda whose profile shots of ass and titties got me all hard and drippy.
If you’re in or near a bigger city, though, you might get a little bit overwhelmed by all the options. In Warsaw, for example, Escort.Club has over 2,000 sex ads. You could handle it the same way, with a whole lot of scrolling and clicking and scrolling and clicking, opening up dozens of browser tabs until you’re confused, exhausted, and still desperately horny.
My advice is to take advantage of the Advanced Search filters if you find yourself with too many choices. The site offers a killer set of search filters for dialing in your perfect escort. The top row of checkboxes lets you choose broad categories like Ladies, Gentlemen, Duet, Clubs and Agencies, and Massage Salons. There’s even a Transgender option if you prefer chicks with dicks, Striptease if you’re looking for something softer, and BDSM if you’re a kinky motherfucker.
You can set your preferred price range for your preferred amount of time, find women who do incalls and outcalls, and filter the listings with photos, verification, or working right now. Vitally, you can also set your preferences as far as height, weight, age and breast size. I’m always so annoyed when escort sites leave those options out. The system on Escort.Club was clearly built with the end users in mind.
These days, I’m always looking for escort reviews on these sites, and I consider it something of a dealbreaker when they’re left out. Escort Club allows users to post reviews of their escorts, and you can filter for them using the Advanced Search. Just check off the box that says “The ads with comments” and you’ll be on your way. As a newer site, there aren’t a ton of reviews yet, but it’s a great feature and I see a few people have already begun using it.
There’s also a Services menu within the Advanced Search that gets really fucking specific. Instead of learning a complicated system of esoteric acronyms and secret codes, you can just choose options like Footjob, Oral Sex, Blowjob With Condom, Heels or Massage. There’s even extra-kinky shit on the list, like Erotic Asphyxiation, Cuckold, Latex and Fisting. Who’s up for some Rimming and Roleplay?
I Think It’s Going to Be a Fun Night
I’ll be traveling to Cracow for business and pleasure in a couple days, so I perused the 800+ ads Escort Club has listed in the city. Using the Advanced filters, I looked for a Lady between the ages of 18 and 30 who was down to do Sex Between Breasts and Costumes, and then filtered it down to the women with reviews (“Comments”). That narrowed the selection down to just a handful of beautiful women, which made the choice a whole lot easier.
One of the chicks who came up was a 26-year-old redhead who describes herself as “an adventurous, well-educated girl who loves to make your naughty dreams and kinks come true!” Based on the dirty photos and videos she posted, I believe her claims, and I’m hoping to test them out firsthand very soon.
Visitors to Escort.Club don’t have to sign up for an account unless they’re leaving a review or want to use the internal messaging system. All the relevant contact information is plainly listed right in the ads, so there’s no extra step between you and the escort of your choice. When you hook up, be sure to mention where you saw her ad so she keeps posting stuff on Escort.
The only real downside I could find to Escort.Club was related directly to the newness of the site. Having just been launched, they haven’t yet picked up steam in all the cities they’ve got listed. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t find any American listings. As of this writing, most of the ads on the site are posted by Eastern European models and agencies. Hopefully, the other regions will start filling out as the platform gains traction.
Escort.Club is definitely worth a look if you’re in one of their well-served areas, like Warsaw or Cracow. I’d also recommend a look if you’ve been searching for a new escort directory, especially as the site continues to grow and ads get posted in more cities. The listings are sexy as hell, and they’ve got some of the best search filters I’ve seen on an escort site. This one’s a winner in my little black book.