Empire Escort Network drops an E from their domain name, rolling with the simple and clever EmpirEscort.com instead. As a porn webmaster myself, as well as the guy who runs PornWebmasters.com, I have to wonder if this is just clever branding or if they accidentally forgot to pay their registrar bill and lost the dot-com with their full name. That internet real estate ain’t cheap, and now it’ll cost them a good four grand to buy it back.
Hopefully, you won’t have to spend nearly as much money just using the site to find a good time this evening. EmpirEscort lists escort ads and other adult classifieds from providers around the world. They’ve been online less than a year, though longevity ain’t necessarily the best indicator of an escort site’s value. No, what matters most is how easy they make it to get some action, so let’s see what they’ve got for your old pal The Porn Dude!
Digging into EmpirEscort
As with many of the other escort directories I’ve reviewed around here, Empire Escort has a fairly non-descript, text-based front page. They don’t waste any time at all dancing around the topic, instead screaming in bold capital letters about the SEXY CLASSIFIED ADS IN YOUR CITY. Below that is a menu of countries to choose your location and start perusing.
EmpirEscort has classified ads in a wide selection of countries, with some notable exceptions. If you’re an American and you ain’t traveling abroad, well, you’ll have to find something else off my big list of Escort Sites here at ThePornDude, because they don’t cater to Yankees. Africa and the Middle East are left off the menu, too, but they’ve got ads from a handful of Central and South American countries like Argentina, Bolivia, Chile and Mexico. Australia and India made the cut, too.
The only Asian country listed is Singapore, which is kind of odd. Europeans are largely left out of the fold, too, except for Italy and the United Kingdom. That’s good news for yours truly, because I’m bumming around Merry ol’ England right now. I expanded the UK menu and found a list of spots like Derby, Leeds, Liverpool and Manchester.
I clicked the London link, which brought me to the first page of EmpirEscort.com’s listings in the city. This ain’t the most hopping escort directory I’ve ever seen, but there’s a fair amount of activity, which translates to a nice selection of babes to choose from in any major metropolitan area. Outside of the big cities your mileage is going to vary like crazy, but you already know that unless this is your first time.
It’s shortly after midnight in London as I type this up, and about twenty women have posted ads today. Dozens per day seems more or less standard in this city, though the way the site is set up makes it difficult to see the full number of current ads. Recent ads always offer your best shot at getting a reply, and I had to scroll through about four pages before I found ads that were even a week old.
Just What Are These Beautiful Ladies Offering?
Depending on where you’re conducting your escort search, it may be worth playing with the dropdown menus at the top of the screen, which break down any location into smaller areas. London, for example, has sections for Central, East and North London, just to name a few. I’d prefer a distance filter that lets you set how far you’d be willing to travel, as it’s just a little easier than tweaking your settings multiple times throughout your journey.
Aside from the location settings, they don’t offer many filters to refine your search. Some platforms will let you dial in your preferred age range, prices, incalls and outcalls, as well as services, body type and ethnicity. EmpirEscort.com’s only other filter lets you choose who you’re looking for: Escorts, Erotic Massages, Transexual, Male Escorts and Adult Dates.
The general lack of filters is kind of a bummer, but they do have a search bar that seems to scan the entire text of the Empire Escort ads. I was able to find pretty much anything I typed into the box, from BBW escorts to BDSM, dominatrixes to MILFs, as well as escorts down to do foot stuff, anal, BBBJ and more.
Which brings me to my next major point: the site allows explicit classified ads. A lot of sites make you dance around the whole business of hiring an escort, forcing newbies to learn a bunch of goddamn secret codes just to navigate the listings. It’s a lot easier on a site like this where they can just straight-up tell their customers what’s on offer.
I wanted to find a chick who’d let me hit it from behind, so I typed “doggie” into the EmpirEscort.com search bar. The entire first page of London results had been posted today, so I had plenty to choose from. Looks like I’m not going to have another boring, lonely night!
Finding the Perfect Date on EmpirEscort
I started sifting through my down-for-doggy girls, clicking on each profile and checking the details. Escorts can post a fair number of pics on Empire Escort, including nudes. I like a big round ass to smack while I’m smashing, as you likely already know if you’ve been watching my work over at PornDudeCasting.
The pickings were good, and I had to start shortlisting babes right away. My favorites were a 23-year-old Indian chick whose profile listed a whole bunch of kinky shit she was into, a thick bleach blonde with a big ass and love of cunnilingus, and a self-described Queen of Anal. “I provide girlfriend experience and a perfect deepthroat followed by a nice relaxing massage,” the Queen wrote.
The ad format is pretty simple, consisting of a self-descriptive blurb and a few photos. I wish EmpirEscort had more fields for them to fill out, like prices and incall/outcall status, though the better listings manage to include those in the blurb. Some escorts, like the Queen of Anal herself, leave skimpy one- or two-sentence ads that leave a lot of the details up in the air.
Once you find an escort or masseuse who seems like your type of lady, just click the Phone or Whatsapp buttons to get their digits. There’s no registration required to view anything, including contact details. Leave the paper trails for your ATM receipts and bank statements.
What I Did with My Wednesday Evening
One of the biggest disappointments during my visit to Empire Escorts was the lack of customer reviews. These have been becoming more and more common on escort directories, and they’ve been standard for years on almost any type of e-commerce site. If you’re going to be spending money, customer reviews can go a long way in making sure you get what you’re paying for. The world’s oldest profession has always been rife with scams, so it’s up to you to do your own due diligence. Never send anyone money sight unseen unless you’re some kind of fucking moron.
I’ll be doing my due diligence just as soon as I wrap up this review. My first pick is the big-ass blonde girl, so I’ll send her a text and feel her out. If all goes well, I’ll be having a nice incall with her this evening. If not, well, that pretty Indian chick is my next choice.
Even without customer reviews, EmpirEscort.com offers a nice selection of adult classified ads featuring a beautiful selection of escorts, erotic masseuses, dominas and other ladies of the night. Your mileage will vary depending on where you are in the world and what you’re looking for, but they’ve got enough listings to satisfy most gentlemen and johns in any of the major cities serviced by the site. It doesn’t cost anything to browse and they don’t make you sign up for anything, so it couldn’t hurt to see who’s available wherever you happen to be tonight. Feeling lonely?