AMPReviews! Where can you get a massage in the United States? And no, I’m not talking about one of those experiences you can get from any chain massage outlet. You know, where Butch the failed model massages your body like he’s ripping apart a pork roast talking about himself on repeat. Neither am I referring to a massage where some dip shit rubs you with his knuckles.
Rather, I’m talking about the kind of massages with a happy ending. Catch my fucking drift, you dense mother fucker? Well, where can you find the hottest and sexiest massage providers in your area? AMPReviews may be just the ticket you’ve been looking for. It is an active message board featuring reviews and leads to amazing massage providers scattered across the United States. Check it out to see if you can find someone in your general area!
Reviews massage parlors and independent massage providers
Getting a sensual massage in the United States is a tricky endeavor. You cannot just go to any social media platform and expect to find a professional that can deliver what you are looking for. Besides, I don’t have to tell you that massages that end on a high note are not exactly met with open arms in the country either. So you have to go to the right place to find the information that will result in you getting off to a sexy professional.
Well, Americans have to explore in the dark essentially, which, in my opinion, is goddamn stupid. But because AMPReviews makes it easy as hell to discuss the trustworthy providers, which are worth a trip, or which massage experts should be provided, this ultimately does not matter. You see, it’s one thing to have to tread lightly and explore massage reviews. And it is an entirely different matter when these reviews tell you everything that you want to know about someone before you meet them.
As much of a pain in the ass as it can be to find a massage beauty that will get you off, going to a platform that clears the air and shows you the best in your area is convenient in and of itself. In a way, having to explore a platform like AMPReviews is a blessing in disguise. Here, you will find legitimate reviews of massage parlors and independent massage providers alike.
Then again, how in the fuck do you know if you can trust the reviews that are written on AMPReviews? That is a good question. Sure, any jerk can post reviews on the message board. But there are a few safeguards in place to ensure that you get accurate reviews. AMPReviews enforces users to register for an account before getting any of the key information needed to pursue a massage expert.
This is how it works. Users can look at reviews and the messages on threads without signing up for a free account. This allows anyone to see the kind of information they can find on AMPReviews and realize that this is indeed a place to go when they want to learn more about the massage beauties operating in their area. Right off, you can tell whether the platform will have the information you are looking for just by looking at the conversations and locations mentioned throughout the ‘review’ and ‘discussion’ threads alone.
However, if you want to see sensitive information about a provider – like a massage expert’s name, for example – you must either sign up for a VIP account or write your own review. Interestingly, the ‘private information’ hidden is information that you can use to find locations.
For example, if you want to find the location and phone number of a massage parlor, this information is not blocked in a lot of cases. Then again, you could also find this information via a Google search in a lot of cases. So that should come as no surprise. Still, I found the phone number, city, name of the establishment, and general location on most reviews.
Now, I know how backward it sounds to have to write a review before you can look at sensitive information about providers. Too many people do not want to take the chance of trying a massage provider blindly just so they can leave a review on AMPReviews and unlock the option to look at sensitive information about providers. But you can also see AMPReviews’ rationale. They want only the people who are serious about finding a massage professional looking around on the message board in the first place.
Alternatively, members can sign up for a VIP account. Select’ purchase private access’ at the top of the page. There, you can become a VIP member and look at the sensitive information about each provider on AMPReviews without taking the chance of blindly choosing a massage professional. The catch is that you have to link your credit card to your account.
Over 87,000 members
Now you know that you can find details about massage providers on AMPReviews, but is it even populated? You bet your ass it is! I noticed that there were over 87,000 members on the message board alone! With over 85,900 threads and over 637,700 messages along with hundreds online at any given moment, this is a thriving community with a singular goal: get access to only the best massage professionals.
That is not even mentioning that whenever you explore the sections, there are new posts and threads all the fucking time. You can appreciate this for yourself when you look at the latest post section. It is also an easy way to see the latest posts.
All you have to do is go to the top of the page, then select ‘what’s new.’ From there, you can explore the posts under ‘what’s new,’ ‘new posts,’ ‘new profile posts,’ and ‘latest activity.’ So, for example, if you want to see the newest engagements, keep it on the ‘what’s new’ section.’ But if you want to see the latest posts posted on people’s profiles, check the profile posts.
Ultimately, this section shows you which parts of the message board are the most active. Unfortunately, 99% of the time, the information that you find in this section will not do you a damn bit of good because AMPReviews only works if you can find information related to massage experts in your general area. AMPReviews succeeds in that regard – depending on where you live.
Not every state is represented
If you are hoping to find reviews for just about every state in the United States, keep fucking dreaming! AMPReviews does not even come close to featuring every state in the US. Granted, there are 50 states, so that’s a lot of ground covered. But the United States is a big fucking country – one would assume that at least most states would be featured here.
As it stands, the states featured include New Jersey, Texas, New York, Delaware, and Pennsylvania, to name a few. In addition, large cities like Las Vegas, Chicago, and Honolulu are also featured on AMPReviews. Sure, it’s fantastic if you live in any of these states. But if you don’t live near the East Coast, one state in the South, or a few of the bigger cities in the entire country, you are a fuck out of luck!
It would be great if most states were represented on this website. There isn’t one state in the Midwest or the West Coast represented. Where the fuck is California on this list? What about Illinois since Chicago is listed here? Or a northern state like Michigan, or states a bit in the middle of the country like Missouri, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and more?
It’s a huge, missed opportunity. These are enormously populated parts of the entire country. To have no states represented on AMPReviews is fucking head-scratching. Perhaps more states and locales will be added as time goes on. But, for now, the missing regions leave much to be desired.
But if you live in a location that is somewhat close to the regions represented on AMPReviews, you are going to find an enormous amount of content that will assist you when you want to find new providers to reach out to. Sure, you will either have to blindly review a massage expert or sign up with a VIP membership with your credit card. But once you do, you can easily figure out which massage professionals are worthy of your time and effort.
Avoid the scams and all of that unwanted drama. You know what you want. Use AMPReviews to find the massage professionals that will have you feeling like a million and one bucks in no time and find someone that you can trust almost as much as you can trust the amazing reviews on ThePornDude! Wow, that’s a lot of trust!
Suggestions
AMPReviews is a message board that shows you unbiased reviews of massage parlors and independent providers throughout the United States. All of the reviews are written by ordinary horny fuckers just like you. Not every state is represented here, which is a real shame. AMPReviews needs to add more states to the mix, so as many horny bastards as possible can know which massage experts are the real deal and which professionals they should avoid!