For many a man out there, their first sexual experience was a hand job. That’s why I like to call getting a hand job getting an “old-fashioned.” Because it occupies such a quant area of human sexuality, it doesn’t often get the respect it deserves. Nevertheless, I still love to get the occasional hand job, especially if it’s a hidden hand job delivered in public.
Hand Jobs for Dummies
There are a million ways to deliver a hand hob. The one you are probably most familiar with is the okay sign hand job. That’s when a bitch makes an okay sign with her index finger and thumb and strokes your cock with it.
The reason I assume you fucks have experienced the okay sign hand job is that you have tiny cocks. A bitch couldn’t get her whole hand around your cock without cutting off a few fingers. It sucks, but sometimes the truth hurts.
The most common handjob uses the whole hand with the thumb toward the dick tip. It’s easy, and natural, provides plenty of friction, and the motion can be easily repeated until the desired result is achieved.
It doesn’t stop there. You can also flip the hand upside down and stroke the cock with the pinky towards the tip. I actually use this technique when masturbating fairly often. You’d be surprised how different it feels. If you haven’t given it a shot, I highly recommend it.
We can’t forget to talk about the most potent hand job: the double whammy. Your cock is so small you probably can’t imagine fitting two hands on it, but for the rest of us blessed folks, the double-handed old-fashioned is the apex of hand job technology. It feels like you’re fucking an eternally deep pussy. I’ve busted more than my fair share of nuts to the double-down.
But I digress. The only hand jobs you fucks are getting these days are from yourself. That’s what makes hand job porn so potent. It’s much easier to close your eyes and imagine your hand is Riley Reid’s hand than it is to imagine it’s her pussy.
If you guys need some hand job porn in your life, I couldn’t recommend Adult Empire more. They have well over six thousand titles, each featuring the sexiest hand jobs a man could ask to see on film.
Best of all Worlds
Perhaps the best aspect of Adult Empire is how many different ways they offer content. This isn’t a movie rental spot, download spot, or streaming service. It’s all fucking three.
First off, if you’re here for a good time, not a long time, you might make use of the pay-per-minute function. Why pay for the shit you’re not going to use? I bet you could work a nut out in under a minute, so only pay for that minute.
If you want to put a little more time into a feature than a minute, you can rent a video for forty-eight hours. That should give you plenty of time to find your favorite scenes and work out a couple of jizz loads. Two-day rentals are super cheap, so don’t expect to pay more than a few dollars.
If you’re feeling committed to a video, you can purchase a download and own that shit for the rest of your life. As I’m sure you can imagine, I own a metric fuck ton of porn all spread between dozens of external hard drives. Many of those downloads came from right here on Adult Empire. Why wouldn’t they? The prices are fantastic, the download quality stupendous, and the selection is massive. What’s not to love?
Perhaps you wish to own a video but don’t want to store it yourself. Having your own porn-filled external hard drive could subject it to capture by your mother or wife. I’m sure they would hate to find out that you have a fetish for disarticulated midget arm hand jobs.
Poke Your Cockas
Regardless of what you choose, you’ll love the fuck out of the content, so on that note, let’s dive in. I think a perfect place to start is with “Pocahontas: A XXX Parody.”
We’ve all seen Pocahontas, and we’ve all wanted to fuck Pocahantas. That’s what makes the movie perfect for parody. I can’t count how many times I daydreamed about fucking her tight virgin pussy while watching the film as a young man.
Surprisingly, this bitch looks a lot like Pocahontas. That’s not always the case with these real movie parodies. Most of the time, the bitch looks nothing like the character she is supposed to portray.
They tapped petite and sexy Asian porn star Clara Trinity, for the role, and she rocks it. Her bronze skin, angelic face, small tits, and tight body are a perfect fit for Pocahantas.
This version of the film is shot for VR, so get ready to pull those helmets out. (pun intended) If you don’t already have VR gear, what the fuck are you doing with your life? Fortunately, if you have a phone, you can turn it into a simple VR setup using only cardboard. You can look up instructions online or purchase one at any electronics retailer for cheap.
While exploring the woods one day, you hurt yourself and are worried help won’t come in time. Just when you think all hope is lost, a young native woman comes upon you. (pun intended) She has never seen a white person before and is very curious.
This bitch grew up in the woods and knew just how to treat your injuries. The only thing is that she will eventually see your gargantuan white cock as she cleans your wounds.
Pocahantas hasn’t seen a penis of any race before, so she is immediately curious. She touches, pokes, and strokes the cock, trying to figure out what it does. Of course, this makes you hard as a fucking rock.
You try to explain what the purpose of a penis is, but the language barrier is too much to overcome. The only way to describe it is to show her. Soon the explanitory hand job becomes the cock sucking of a lifetime. Now the only thing left to do is show her what that dick can really do. Despite the risks involved, she is more than willing to ride your rod until you cum deep inside her pussy.
She Puts the Lotion on Her Skin
That brings us to “Letting my Step-dad Watch Me Put Lotion On” from Filthy POV. You can’t help but stare at your new stepdaughter. She is just so goddamn sexy, and she knows it. It doesn’t take long for her to notice the attention you give her, and she doesn’t seem to mind.
One day you catch her showering and soaping up those incredible natural tits. She sees you spying, but her mom isn’t coming home for a while, and she likes the idea that her body tortures you.
So she lets you in her room to watch her lotion up after her shower.
Your stepdaughter notices the tent in your pants and buries her face in your cock. This might be the best blow job you’ve ever received. However, the show doesn’t really start until you dive into her pussy. Your thick cock is almost too much for her to handle, so she gasps the first time you slide inside.
It doesn’t take too long for the pain to become an ultimate pleasure as your stepdaughter cums on your cock repeatedly.
Shooting Fireworks
To wrap things up, I bring you “July 4th: Make America Hard Again” by VR Bangers and starring Braylin Bailey and Elle Lee. You’re busy enjoying a lazy fourth of July watching TV on the couch when your wife enters to inform you that your 18+ teenage neighbors are having trouble starting the grill. Usually, you’d ignore some dumb neighbor shit like that, but your new teenage neighbors are sexy as fuck. You’ll take any excuse to visit them for a while.
When you arrive, you’re able to fix the grill in no time flat, and the ladies are incredibly appreciative, so they invite you and your wife over to grill. Fortunately, your wife is out grocery shopping, so it’s just you three. I wonder what you might all get up to? Perhaps bible study?
Hand jobs don’t get the credit they deserve anymore, but Adult Empire still keeps the flame alive. If you don’t think you like hand job porn, then I challenge you not to cum to one of these videos. I think you’ll find it quite impossible.
One thing that I would love to see Adult Empire add is a filter to separate POV, VR, and regular HD features. They have a wonderful mix of all three, but not everyone likes all three.
Since you’re giving yourself a hand job already, why not watch a hand job while you do it?