Say Porn Please, and then say Thank You after you finish adding a new layer of sticky crust to the underside of your desk. People these days can be so goddamn rude, even when you’re straight-up giving them free fuck flicks. I’m just trying to encourage some general politeness, even though very few of you are ever going to extend any gratitude to the smut peddlers of the world who make your alone time so much more fun. Hey, throw your old pal The Porn Dude a bone! I work hard to find you the smut that gets you off the hardest.
That’s why today I’m aiming my browser and my dick at SayPornPlease.com, a timeless free porn tube. I say timeless because the domain was just registered this month, but the copyright date at the bottom reads 1205 BC. If these guys are telling the truth, they’ve been around since the collapse of the Bronze age. If they’re lying, nobody is going to give a fuck because they’ll be too busy masturbating furiously.
Tons of New Porno Every Day
I’m going to go out on a limb and guess SayPornPlease hasn’t actually been around since the caveman days. This is a free tube that popped in early March, 2024, right as the coronavirus was making your crackwhore blowjobs a hell of a lot more dangerous. Porn sites aren’t necessarily known for their social, health, and safety tips, but I really appreciate the proactive measures these guys have taken to limit the spread of the dreaded COVID-19.
A #BeSafe Notice linked in the site’s footer spells it all out in simple words with simple graphics: Stay At Home, Wash Your Hands, Watch Movies, and then Wash Your Hands Again. Aside from the hand-washing part, I bet that’s just your regular routine, huh?
While world leaders tell their terrified citizens to hunker down and go about their lives without the basic tools they need, SayPornPlease.com absolutely does their part to help you follow the guidelines they’ve spelled out. The site’s been online a few weeks, and SayPornPlease already has around 800 free porno movies.
The front page looks a lot like any other tube, which is honestly what you want in a free porn site. The format is familiar, with a row of Videos Being Watched, followed by the Most Recent Videos added to the site. All 20 of the newest flicks on the front page were added within the last 24 hours; dozens of new porno movies every day ain’t a bad update schedule at all. Since it’s a video sharing site, the rate should actually pick up as the site gains momentum and traffic.
Top Pornstars and Major-Studio Fuck Flicks
If you watch even a fraction of the amount of porno I do, you probably have at least a handful of favorite sluts in the business. One of the things you’ll notice about SayPornPlease.com almost immediately is that the place is fucking drowning in top-shelf, professional poon. All of your favorite big-name pornstars are getting fucked on this site!
People are cranking it to Valentina Nappi, Kimmy Granger, and Little Caprice movies as I type this, their sexy bodies exposed in the thumbnails for Videos Being Watched. Today alone has seen new uploads featuring Alina Lopez getting boned by an old dude, Mia Malkova bouncing her luscious ass on some lucky guy, and MILF Riley Jenner jerking off and fucking her stepson in a taboo movie.
Yessir, this is some high-class shit they’ve got on tap at Say Porn Please. I guess the big names and familiar faces shouldn’t be all that surprising, because the clip titles also include the sites where the movies come from. They’ve got a ton of major pornstars because they’ve got a ton of major-studio premium porno.
That Alina Lopez movie I mentioned is from PureTaboo, one of my very favorite taboo paysites. They’ve also got Karla Kush banging in a threesome from Tushy, Jessa Rhodes getting some BBC in a Blacked movie, and a Bratty Sis vid with Aubrey Sinclair as the titular bitchy sibling. Based on the thumbnail of brosef’s face all up in Aubrey’s twat, I’m guessing he’s okay with her attitude. Those are all movies added today!
There’s a sidebar listing dozens and dozens of premium sites they’ve got material from. You cheapskates are going to fucking love Say Porn Please, because you can get in some free faps to movies from sites like BangBros, CumLouder, Reality Kings, Shoplyfter, Team Skeet and Tiny4K.
Full-Length Smut for Full-Length Faps
All of the thumbnails on the video page are stamped with a 45:00, though none of the ones I watched were exactly 45 minutes. It’s a bug and barely worth complaining about. What excites me more is the fact that these really are full-length movies.
I saw Gianna Dior smiling from a thumbnail where she’s wearing a really respectable outfit. Every time I see any of that babe, I want to see more, so I clicked through to the video. It’s a half-hour scene from Property Sex called I Have a Boyfriend.
With my spam blocker running, I don’t get any pop-ups or pop-unders as I make my way to the video and hit Play. It starts almost immediately, but I see pixels right away in the Property Sex logo; this is not HD. That’s a bit of a bummer, especially if you were planning on whacking off to a big screen. The resolution on Say Porn Please ain’t perfect for eyes spoiled by modern technology, but it’s definitely good enough to get the blood pumping to your cock. On mobile or tablet, you probably won’t even notice the low res.
There’s a lot of talking as the scene sets up. As much as I love Gianna’s pretty face, I didn’t click Play to listen to her yammering. I skipped ahead a few minutes, with minimal buffering time, and found her doing something a lot more useful with that mouth of hers. In case that’s too vague for you, I mean she gives one of her famous, world-class blowjobs. It’s filmed POV style, so you get a lot of smiles and beautiful brown eye contact.
A Sexy Stash from Polite Perverts
It’s a fantastic scene, but that’s exactly what I expected, given the onscreen talent and the movie source. A Download button would be the icing on the cake, but I ain’t complaining because Property Sex would charge me $30 to watch. They don’t allow downloads, either.
One of the things that really surprised me about SayPornPlease was that I really didn’t see any spam during my visit. I do use an ad blocker, and you should, too, but you usually get a couple of pieces that slip by your plugin. It tends to be a hell of a lot worse on sex sites with full-length/premium content in their catalog, often with truly malicious spam that tries to infect your computer or steal your identity. I didn’t see any of that bullshit here.
As I wrap up this review, it occurs to me how fucking polite these perverts are. Not only do they implore you to use your manners when you say, “Porn, please,” but they’re respectful of your boundaries instead of bombarding you with dick-pill ads like the other guys. They’ve also got that helpful coronavirus notice with more useful, friendlier information than your local government official has to offer.
I see a lot of free sex tubes pop up on the web, and most of them fucking suck. I was prepared to chuck SayPornPlease.com into the same category of spammy minefields and phishing expeditions, but it’s actually a decent site. They’re pretty fucking new, but their catalog of big-name smut is growing rapidly every day. The movies here are full-length, so make sure you have time for a nice, long spank break before you pull up the site.