Sheri’s Ranch is a resort and spa, which might sound a little different from the usual fare I review here at ThePornDude. Then again, the fact that I’m even talking about it on the site probably clues you in that this ain’t necessarily the type of place to book a Mother’s Day gift for your wife. Well, not unless she’s into the ladies, that is. I could crack a joke about how your mom worked at this place, but that wouldn’t be fair to the lovely ladies who really do work at the Ranch. Have you figured out what kind of resort this is yet?
SherisRanch.com is the online home of Sheri’s Ranch, a legal Las Vegas area brothel with some nice amenities. They’ve been around for decades, giving visitors something to do when they’re visiting the City of Sin besides gamble away their kid’s college fund. Their popularity ain’t just with horny dudes eager to put their coins in those tight slots, but with the professionals as well: they won CWMC’s Brothel of the Year award in 2011 and 2012, and even have a controversy-free Wikipedia page full of media mentions. Naturally, a professional connoisseur of adult entertainment like myself had to take a closer look.
Where Exactly is Sheri’s Ranch?
If you haven’t been to Vegas, you may be picturing a flashy cathouse right there on the strip between all the big casinos. The truth is, the laws actually prohibit you from getting the best of Nevada unless you venture out a bit further. Stoners will have to take an Uber a few blocks from the strip to hit a real dispensary, for example, while the shops on the strip only sell that CBD bullshit that won’t get you high. To visit a brothel, you have to travel even further, outside of the county. Prostitution isn’t actually legal in the city of Las Vegas.
Sheri’s Ranch is about 60 miles from the heart of Vegas. Before you start changing your plans and settling for some toothless Tinder whore, you should know that SherisRanch offers free door-to-door, round-trip transportation. They’ll pick you up at your hotel or even the airport in an unmarked vehicle, and you’ll be on your way to enjoy yourself.
The full name of the place, listed at the top of SherisRanch.com, is The Resort and Spa Sheri’s Ranch. I thought it was just a clever name to make them sound a little classier, but nah, they really do style themselves after a resort. You can book a themed hotel room for a romantic getaway with the wife, have a drink in their sports bar, and then bang a beautiful woman after the ol’ ball and chain drinks herself to sleep. (I kid, I kid!)
Standard room rates are surprisingly affordable, starting at just $75 on weekdays. The suites are only $125 on weekends, which makes me want to book a trip right now. If the regular romance theme ain’t freaky enough for you, how about an evening in their pirate or Egyption suites? (I’m writing this at the tail end of June 2002, so you’ll definitely want to check current prices if you’re interested in booking a room.)
Their VIP Bungalows are even more luxurious, including ‘60s, Roman, King Arthur and Arabian Nights themes. Bungalow 6 is also called Sheri’s Playland, an adult wonderland where you can indulge in the ultimate Girlfriend Experience, Sexy Secretary Scenario or Naughty Classroom fantasy. If you’ve ever wanted to live out a scene straight from a porno movie, this may be your opportunity. My mind started racing with ideas as soon as I found out about their Lustful Locker Room, and I haven’t even gotten to the women yet.
Oh, and while we’re on the subject of living out a porno scene, this is a good opportunity to mention the Sheri’s Ranch Sex-Tape room. This is where you can shoot your own dirty movie with a professional. SherisRanch.com has some photos of the automated setup, which uses multiple cameras for multiple angles, voice-activated technology, and an optional voyeur mode. Shit, if I wasn’t busy shooting weekly movies for PornDudeCasting, I might become a regular!
The Beautiful Women of Sheri’s Ranch
Pull up the front page of SherisRanch.com and the first thing you notice probably ain’t going to be the elegant page design, the classy logo or all the wordage. No, you’re going to notice the babes first. Any good online shop puts their best goods out front, and the same goes for brothels and their women. There’s a hottie named Aaliyah laying around in red lingerie at the top of the page, and beside that is a picture menu showing some of the ladies from this week’s lineup. Sheri’s Ranch has a rotating cast of beautiful women, so check the current roster to see who’s going to be available when you’re out there.
I wouldn’t say Sheri’s has any particular type, so you’ll find a wide range of gorgeous courtesans available to get down. This week’s women include sultry blondes and sophisticated brunettes, sexy redheads, an exotic little Asian broad and a big-jugged ebony beauty. There are MILFs and newly ripened fruit, slim chicks and thicc mamas. As I type this up, there are two dozen women to choose from, and I’m having trouble deciding.
I clicked on a hot blonde named Amber and checked out her profile. Each profile has an autobiographical blurb, preferences and stats, and a whole lot of pictures. The pics are a big deal, since they show you exactly what you’re going to get. Contrast that to your average escort directory, where you usually only get a pic or two, plus a lot of doubt about whether or not the gal’s legit. There’s no questioning the legitimacy here: Amber is definitely real and she definitely works at Sheri’s Ranch.
Amber’s also got 5 out of 5 stars from previous clients. SherisRanch.com lets clients leave star ratings and written reviews. I hate buying anything without hearing some third-party opinions, as you probably do too, but this will put you at ease. Reviews are one of the features I look for on escort sites nowadays, and because of the legal status of prostitution in Nevada, I feel like these writeups might even be more accurate than on your average escort site.
What Do You Want to Do Tonight?
Next, I checked out the SherisRanch.com Sex Menu to see what these girls were willing to do. There’s a nice, wide variety of sexual services available. All the basics are covered, like blowjobs and intercourse, private lesbian shows and threesomes. You can get an erotic massage with a happy ending, enjoy a bubble bath party, or get the full GFE (Girlfriend Experience). If you’re kinky, there’s also cross dressing, role playing, BDSM and foot fetish parties. It’s not an exhaustive list, so if you’ve got other ideas, make sure to bring them up with your courtesan.
One potential downside to the SherisRanch experience is that they don’t list prices for sex acts like they do on some escort sites. The girls are independent contractors, not brothel employees, and set their own rates. You’ll negotiate services in person after choosing your courtesan. Honestly, it ain’t too different from other similar arrangements, though I do wish they listed some ballpark figures so I knew how much to budget.
If it’s your first time, the uncertainty might make you a little nervous, but have no fear, my dudes. One of the big advantages of going to a high-class, well-respected, state-certified brothel like Sheri’s Ranch is knowing you’re in good, law-abiding hands. They offer a lot of helpful info all over the SherisRanch.com website, including a FAQ, Sin City prostitution facts and a guide for brothel newbies. Trust me, everyone wants this to be as easy and painless and fun as possible for everyone involved.
When SherisRanch.com popped up in my inbox, I assumed I would just review it and call it a day, like I usually do when I’m fap-testing free tubes and paysites. By the time I was finished, I had half a mind to book a flight to Las Vegas as soon as possible. The women on the menu are absolutely first class and all the luxurious, resort-style amenities just add to the appeal. I better wrap this up and go check Expedia for plane ticket prices.