What’s at Stake over at Stake.com? It’s a little different from the type of joints I typically review here at ThePornDude because usually, the wager is just on how hard you’re eventually going to cum into your old trusty, crusty gym sock. Here, you can bet and win real money instead of just hoping your orgasms are good. Some folks even say that gambling is just as much fun as masturbation and a lot nicer than fucking your fat wife, but it doesn’t take a genius to notice that not all online gambling dens are created equal. But what about one that’s pulling nearly half a million players a day?
In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Stake.com is an internet gambling site with a casino and a sportsbook. I knew there must be money behind the operation even before I took a look because that short one-word domain probably costed them an absolute fucking fortune. As a gambler, I’m attracted to that kind of flashy, expensive shit, so I was eager to bust out my own digital wallet and find out how to make it fatter. Wish me luck, perverts.
What Do Americans Have at Stake?
Before I get into it, I’d better mention what happened when I first pulled up Stake’s front page. Well, before I could even really start looking at anything, a window popped up saying Americans weren’t allowed to play. They apparently haven’t greased the right palms or sucked the right dicks to get the various regulatory bodies in order, which is a fucking bummer. Since Stake is such a popular casino, they’ve got to be extra careful about playing by the rules, so they don’t get shut down.
I was able to load the site and register an account once I loaded up a VPN with a server in another country. If you don’t know much about using a VPN to access a restricted site, check out my list of the Best VPN Sites here at ThePornDude, but the short version is that it reroutes all your internet use, so it looks like you’re playing from somewhere else in the world. There is some risk associated with this because VPN users probably violate the Terms of Service, risking their winnings. Therefore, I do not recommend doing it. That said, I did a little homework using Google, Reddit, and a couple of smaller forums and found that Stake.com is still pretty fucking popular with Americans, risks be damned.
Regardless of where you’re playing from, one of Stake’s biggest draws is their wide range of payment and payout options in both crypto and traditional currency. The front page even refers to the site as The Complete Crypto Casino. There’s also a scrolling payout display where you can see what kind of winnings players are getting right now. Of course, Bitcoin is the most popular, but they’ve also got options like Litecoin, Ethereum, bitcoincash, Tron, and ripple. They even accept dogecoin, so you can even enjoy Stake.com if you’ve got your tongue up Elon Musk’s butthole.
Another big draw? They offer instant registration through Facebook, Google, Line, or Twitch. That’ll save you some precious time, which means a few more pulls on the virtual slots or a couple of more bets placed on UFC. Goddamn, maybe I didn’t have to spend all that time and money getting to Vegas last week just to hit the casino. Then again, I don’t see any smashable hookers hanging around Stake.com, so I guess you win some, you lose some. As a gambling man, I’m sure you understand.
Where’s My Signup Bonus?
My list of online casinos just seems to keep growing and growing. With all these places competing with each other, it’s super common to see various signup bonuses offered. Usually, they’ll multiply your initial deposit or tack on a big stack of bonus credits. Of course, there are rules about how many times you’ve got to play those freebies before cashing out, but it’s still a great way to get new players to leave their old casinos.
I don’t know if it’s shortsightedness, stupidity, or sheer bold bravado that Stake.com doesn’t offer signup bonuses like all the other guys. Maybe I just got on board on the wrong day, but wow, it’s really unusual not to get something for signing up. Stake must not be hurting for business, or else they’re just confident their reputation is enough to earn them a steady crop of new gamblers. Maybe a little from column A, a little from column B.
Of course, they do have a whole promo page full of giveaways, challenges, bonus prizes, and other rotating perks. Right now, they’re promoting a game called King Carrot by offering $1,000 prizes every day for ten days, as well as some big bonuses for people playing Evolution titles. For sports fans, they have some big payouts on NBA, EPL, and NFL games coming up.
Let’s Play Some Games and Win Some Cash!
I figured I’d stop by Stake.com’s selection of slots first since those tend to be super easy and accessible to get into. They’ve got an excellent selection of virtual slots from the major developers, which might look familiar if you’re a regular at online casinos. On the other hand, it’s kind of a slim collection of slots compared to some of the sites that give you hundreds of different options. Personally, I don’t mind the stripped-down selection since the bigger game rooms are often full of bullshit.
I was a little more interested in the Stake Originals listed right above the slots. Some of them are the site’s own little riffs on the usual classics like baccarat, blackjack, and keno. However, I like the modern games that are clearly designed for people who waste time on the computer or the phone, like Mines, Crash, and Blue Samurai. Gambling is constantly evolving, even as some of its big sections stay the same. A place like Stake is an excellent place to play the cutting edge of it.
Maybe you’re the sort of gambler who heads to a table instead of a machine when you’re at the real-life casino, and you can do that here, too. They’ve got an excellent selection of table games, live and virtual. All the usual suspects are here, from blackjack to baccarat to roulette and craps. So naturally, there are several different poker games, from Caribbean stud poker to three card poker to hold’em. It’s kind of ironic that they don’t allow you to play from the actual state of Texas, huh?
Finally, there’s the sportsbook, where you can bet on just about any sporting event, race, or fight. I made my way to the Live Events, where I found basketball, tennis, soccer, ice hockey, and table tennis games to bet on, just to name a few. There’s also esports, so you can finally make some money watching nerds play Dota 2 or League of Legends. Your mom keeps telling you to get out of the basement and get a job, but maybe this can be your new job. Keep rubbing that lucky rabbit’s foot, friend.
You know, when I first came here, I was wondering how Stake could attract so many players when they’re not even offering any signup bonuses, but I think I understand now. The more I explore the site, the more ways I can gamble and win money. At the end of the day, all a casino really needs to offer are fun games and have semi-reasonable odds. Stake nails the basic formula and delivers it in a convenient package that makes you want to hang out all day, dropping virtual quarters in the slots. Winning lights up your brain just like it does it, Reno, only with less cigarette smoke in the air and fewer sketchy coke dealers hanging around.
Really, the biggest downside I can see is that Stake.com hasn’t yet cut through all the red tape necessary to make their service available to Americans without a VPN. My list of Betting Sites has easier options for gamblers in the USA, but I understand why so many are willing to deal with the risks to gain those rewards. The site’s an even easier recommendation for those in regions Stake officially serves. In any case, good luck and good fortunes to you!