Happy Escorts! When you’re balls-deep in a porn session and are embroiled in some of the most hardcore smut around, it’s only natural for your cock to start looking you in the eye and saying shit like, ‘’Hey, man! Why don’t we take this shit out of the realm of pixels and into the world of reality? I need some real pussy!’’
As much fun as porn is, combining it with the real thing is often 10x better. I mean, why just watch Adriana Chechik getting double-penetrated in both holes at once when you can slide your dick in a ravenous whore’s pussy while she reaches back and pounds her ass with a BBC dildo? Why watch an 18-year-old cumslut take copious amounts of cum on her face in a Bukkake gangbang when it could be you painting a chick’s face with man fat?
I know, I know! You’re probably going to say that finding chicks who are willing to do shit like this is far more complicated than just putting your favorite erotic content into the search engine of a porn tube site. However, what if there was a search engine for IRL sluts who are eager to do all of your wildest porn fantasies IRL, provided that you hand over enough cash?
Luckily, there is! Spread across the internet is a plethora of escort search engines that allow you to stay on one site and navigate an entire world of active sex workers rather than going from site to site according to the country you’re looking for escorts in. But while these sites might sound like a horny fucker’s dream come true, there are a few stumbling blocks to be aware of.
As with anything, it’s fair to say that not all of these sites are created with equal levels of quality. While some have the potential of being a virtual map that’ll direct you between the hypnotic thighs of some of the world’s naughtiest hookers, others will be the online equivalent of the old bait and switch in a notorious red light district, such as London’s Soho (before the hipsters arrived).
But to protect you from the latter and guide your horny ass into the former, The Porn Dude is here! I’ve been hunting down every last escort search engine and directory to give you a balls-deep insight into each and pull no punches on which sites are badass and which are dead in the water. Today, the hunt continues as we prepare to spread the virtual legs of Happyescorts.com and see what it has to offer!
What is Happyescorts.com?
I’ve seen a few happy escorts in my life because there aren’t many women who don’t have a massive smile on their face after a prolonged ride on The Porn Dude’s dick that’s been trained in the art of smut for years. So, I was curious to see what Happyescorts.com was all about.
Happyescorts.com is a sex worker search engine and hooker directory that connects clients to a plethora of call girls from across the globe. At the time of writing, the site could boast more than 29,800+ escorts from 839 cities in 96 countries. Fuck, that’s a lot of paid pussy!
What are the Escorts Like on Happyescorts.com?
The site allows its users to get pretty damn detailed in their search for escorts, and a range of filters let you narrow down search results according to their age, spoken languages, body type, hair color, sexual preferences, and, of course, location. Now, it’s time to test out this escort search engine and see the highlights of what it could come up with!
● Bilbo in Tirana – Yes, her name is really Bilbo. Was her momma a fellow LOTR fan? Wow, this hot Albanian girl has a tongue that probably arrives ten minutes before her tits do. This thing is fucking huge and must feel like paradise on Earth when it wraps itself around a lucky dude’s cock. Her profile says she is a female, but there’s a negative review from an angry dude who claims he showed up to find out she’s really a shemale. Come on, dude, you’re really going to turn down a shemale as hot as that? Stop complaining and turn her asshole into something as red as the Albanian flag!
● Barbara The Latina MILF – Few things can match a horny Latina 19-year-old riding your cock like it’s her last ride on earth. However, a sexually experienced Latina MILF is a strong contender. Barbara is one of the latter and has an immensely filthy look in her eyes and a pair of big mommy milkers that look like a shit load of fun to play with!
● Oksana The Russian Femdom Bitch – If you’re going to book a Femdom escort, then it’s a solid piece of advice to go with a chick from Germany or Russia because chicks from those countries just seem to have a natural-born talent for dominating people. Oksana is a prime example, and this Russian MILF in her early forties looks like she can unleash a ruthless female domination party on her clients that can make a KGB agent blush!
The Design of the Site
Regarding the design of Happyescorts.com, the site clearly strives to make things as clean and straightforward as possible to ensure its users can flawlessly find the escort of their dreams.
The site is laid out on a purple, gold, and pink background and is hosted on an island in the center of the theme. The first thing to catch your eye will be the logo that spells out the site’s URL with a graphic of the site’s initials topped with a white crown. This is accompanied by an easy-to-read tagline explaining the site and how many escorts it is home to.
Underneath this is a main menu with five links directing you to the homepage, the search engine, a list of escorts, an About page, and a help section. A drop-down menu lets you change the site’s language from English to other international languages.
The site’s homepage is divided into a large section that hosts a portfolio of escorts and a sidebar on the left-hand side. The former section displays hooker profiles in rows of four, accompanied by detailed data covering their availability, verified status, name, age, location, and whether they have video content to accompany their photos. The latter sidebar displays two vertical lists showcasing the top sex workers and escort agencies of the week.
Towards the site’s footer is an easy-to-read section detailing the site’s story and how it all works, followed by three buttons that encourage users to participate in competitions run by the site and achieve a place on the escort or agency of the week lists.
What I Like Most About It
Who doesn’t love convenience when it comes to finding their dream escort? This is something the site aims for and does a great job of achieving through a massive index of global escorts dotted across multiple countries. There are all manner of sex workers featured on the site, and there’s undoubtedly something for every taste.
An escort portfolio of this size could quickly become something difficult to navigate. Still, the admins behind Happyescorts.com have ensured that this doesn’t happen by adding an ample selection of search filters that allows you to navigate their selection of hookers with ease.
I also like how Happyescorts.com adds a sense of competition to the site and encourages sex workers and escort agencies alike to compete for a spot on the weekly highlights lists. This must do an excellent job of ensuring escorts put their best effort into both their service and the customization of their profile, thus benefiting site users as a result.
One of the top features that I found on Happyescorts.com was the presence of reviews on the profiles of many of the hookers. This is such an underrated feature that so many escort sites miss out on, and it allows potential clients to get an idea of what quality a specific sex worker can offer based on feedback from people she’s fucked previously.
What I Don’t Like
The main thing I didn’t like about Happyescorts.com was the lack of a gallery feature on the sex workers’ profiles. When you arrive at a hooker’s profile and want to see her featured profiles in more detail, you’re unable to click on them and expand them into a separate gallery window, forcing you to zoom in on the page manually, which feels clunky.
Suggestions I Have for Happyescorts.com
It would suggest working on adding a reliable gallery feature to the profiles of the sex workers to allow site users to expand their feature photos and view them in more detail. At the time of writing, it’s hard to see the photos in all their glory and get a solid idea of what the sex worker actually looks like without zooming in.
Conclusion
Aside from the lack of a gallery feature on the sex workers’ profiles, Happyescorts.com is a site that can offer a lot of benefits to anybody looking to search a global database of whores to play with and keep it all contained in one handy location.
There’s also a decent selection of hookers across the site that incorporates a wide range of looks and who offers a diverse selection of sexual services. So, whatever your lust is aching for and depending on your location, this is a site that should have your horny ass covered and be able to connect you with the right keen whore!