Are you fuckers prepared? I’m about to speak on one of the most legendary porn stars ever to get naked in front of a camera. Even people who don’t watch porn have seen this bitch hula hoop. She’s been the subject of several memes that took her from porn to a member of the cultural zeitgeist.
Hula Hoop+Fat Ass=Cum
This bitch has become more than a porn star while never straying far from her roots. It’s her pussy that got her here and her pussy that will keep her here.
I’m sure the moment I brought up a hula hoop, you knew who I was talking about. It could be none other than the incredible and fuckable Remy LaCroix.
Remy was born in San Fransico, California, on June 26th, 1988. She had a fairly classic childhood singing in the school choir and working for a local grocery store.
Remy’s first experience with having eyes on her body was as a specialty dancer for music festivals such as Burning Man. She would hula-hoop, fire dance, and perform on the aerial silks. It was a blast, but it wasn’t necessarily bringing in the millions.
She got her start in adult entertainment in December 2011. This bitch didn’t start off slow, pass go, and collect two hundred dollars. She dove in head first with a gang bang scene. You know what they say, go big or go home. Remy went big from day one.
This gang bang is talked about in James Franco’s documentary titled “Kink.” I highly recommend watching the whole film if you love beating off and watching porn. You can also just check out the clip talking about Remy.
Not much can surprise you when your welcome to the industry is a gang bang. She was ready and willing to shoot any type of scene put in front of her.
Pussy Burn
However, she got her start hot and fast but began burning out after only six months. Remy announced her retirement but continued to fulfill previous commitments and promote scenes already in the can. After a brief hiatus, she returned in November 2012 with a better grasp of balancing work and life.
The moment she returned to porn, the awards started rolling in. LA Weekly ranked her as one of the ten porn stars most likely to become the next Jenna Jameson. It’s a different world than when Jenna is around, so what Remy does appears different, but I suspect it’s what Jenna would be doing if she was born a generation later.
CNBC also repeatedly put her on their yearly “The Dirty Dozen: Porn’s Most Popular Porn Stars” list. Her string of accomplishments is unending. She’s won Adult Video News awards for the best new starlet, best tease performance, best actress couples-themed release, best actress, best girl on girl sex scene, best threeway sex scene, and many more.
That doesn’t even include awards through Xbiz, Night Moves, and XRCO, such as best actress, best female performer, female performer of the year, and another best new starlet. This bitch is like a porn savant.
Leading the Pack
Let’s crack open this sluts Twitter account and see what she is up to. One stat listed at the top of her page that jumps out to me is her Only Fans ranking. She is in the top .04 percent of accounts. That’s fucking insane.
There are over a million and a half content creators and Remy blows all but twenty-five thousand of them out of the water. Considering there are over one hundred and seventy million total subscribers on Only Fans, I guess she makes some pretty decent money.
As of the writing of this article, Remy is just coming back from another hiatus after having a couple of kids. As to be expected, she didn’t come back with a whimper. Instead, she came back with a bang.
Don’t Call it a Cum Back
Most stupid cunts would call a short scene of them playing with the man in the boat a comeback, but not Remy. She came back with an extreme gang bang scene that includes several Remy firsts. This bitch doesn’t do anything halfway.
Along with a couple of new spawn, Remy also has two dogs she loves to post pictures of. Anyone with a combo big booty and zoophilia dog fetish will feel right at home. The two dogs love to play together. Remy attempted to give the new dog a cool name (Arya), but her kids decided Debbie was a better move. The question is, what are these kid’s friends going to name Remy when they’re in high school?
Remy enjoys posting short gifs of herself on Tik Tok. I think she is trying to recapture her memedom whenever possible. I never skip a gif I see her in, so I guess it works. One of her recent clips is her reacting to her man shaving as she wanted. I’d shave a second fucking cock into my pubes if Remy asked me to. Whatever it takes to get her pussy wrapped around my dong.
The Money Maker
As to be expected, many of Remy’s posts involve her shaking that golden ass of hers. How did I let myself get so far into this article without bringing up this cunts best asset? She has an ass for the ages, along with complete control over how it jiggles. I could watch her hula hoop sixteen hours a day, only taking a break to sleep. I won’t even eat or drink. I’ll barely even be breathing.
Remy loves doing photo shoots at festivals or in places that look like they could host a music festival. She recently took pictures in an olive green Top-Gun-themed jumpsuit that highlighted her best asset perfectly. I want to nibble on those cheeks before diving into her pussy bareback. I hope she is back on birth control now.
Unfortunately, Remy had a rib go out not long before writing this article. She doesn’t say, but if I had to guess, she was either hula hooping or fucking when it happened.
As I’ve already mentioned, this bitch is a trooper. In her very next post, she informs the world that she still plans on sucking her partner’s dick. Remy is doing the lord’s work. Whoever got her pregnant is a lucky man.
Pre-Cum Fun
Remy has an interesting fetish. I’ve heard of it before, but it’s usually enjoyed by gay dudes. Remy has a precum fetish. She loves bringing a man right to the edge and witnessing the desperation of his dick to cum.
It makes us perfect partners. I love when a bitch edges the pre cum out of my body. She’s allowed to torture me all day, any time she wants. She can do with my pre cum what she will. It’s yours.
Remy has some interesting and unique takes on the Halloween season. To quote her recent retweet, “Fuck a haunted house, nut in me so we both scared.” Another of my favorites is “Dressing like a slut for Halloween is appropriating my culture.” In this era of wokeness, I can’t have anyone stealing whore culture.
Remy also has the perfect answer for domestic arguments. If she and her man get to yelling, Remy gets naked. What are you going to do after that? It’s argument over and time to fuck. That’s a female cheat code, but one that I thoroughly enjoy.
Remy is one of those bitches that loves Target. She often posts her outfits before going, and let’s just say if she went to my local Target, I’d be there every day. You could catch me in the parking lot like I’m filming a documentary about lions in the African savannah.
One of Remy’s best friends in the industry is the porn film director, writer, and publicist Jacky St. James. She recently celebrated a birthday, and Remy showered her with praise. These bitches do some great work together. They have led me to soak many a tissue in cum.
If you consider yourself a true Remy fan, you better join her official fan page. She retweets from it fairly often, so you may end up on her page if you’re clever enough. Perhaps you couple write an ode to her asshole or something.
Remy is a porn legend. She is one of the best ever to do it. A hundred years from now, AVN will be handing out the Remy lifetime porn achievement award to other exceptional porn stars.
I wouldn’t dare criticize this bitches page because it’s clearly working well for her. Instead, other bitches should study her Twitter and emulate it.
Remy is one of the best asses in porn. Get yourself an eyeful every day on her Twitter account.