Take your fucking head out of your ass for a second and listen to me! The dullest of shit often turns into a cumtastic, dick-blowing, ball-draining experience! The nerdiest of chicks, the ones with turtlenecks who wander the neighborhood collecting donations for Christian Sister’s Society are the wackiest of cock-gobblers!
Straight.aebn.com/transsexual looks like an online DVD shop that your mama used to get herself moist back in the 80s, but actually, it’s a pretty contemporary thing hidden under the obsolete design. Meet the trannies that are gonna turn your prick into a raging boner! Meet straight.aebn.com/transsexual!
Keep that hype level up until I’m done with the design chatter
I’m torn between calling this site obsolete and calling it classic. It’s both, to be fair. Keep it simple, so poor fuckers don’t get all mixed up seems to be the motto of aebn.com’s webmaster. All of the important things are highlighted in blue, as opposed to the all-white background. Very exciting and utterly creative. When you put all of the outdated-looking shit aside, it’s easy to grasp that straight.aebn.com/transsexual focuses on usability. And transsexuals.
The thumbnails are in the form of DVD movie covers. Again, classic and boring at the same time. No ads or any other kind of cheap disturbances, but no pizzazz either. Booring! I know how to make this party alive again! Talk about transsexuals.
So there are people who have crossed over, but not like died and crossed over to heaven, but like in alive and breathing but in a horny hell. T-chicks, T-girls, chicks with dicks, trannies, call them as you want, but one truth always holds – you’ll see more dick here than in any other porn category on aebn.com. See that straight part in straight.aebn.com/transsexual? That means that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Straight men and straight women love trannies, and it’s all damn fine.
Who put this shit in the recommended stash?!
The World’s Smallest Transsexual Cocks 5!? I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the fact that the movie lived to see edition number five or the fact that people think this shit is hot! Look at that thumbnail, for Christ’s sake! Such an angelic face and such a small willy! This shit is 1080p, meaning that you’ll get to see every nook and cranny of the dwarf penises, and it’s almost one and a half hour long. Bad news just keeps piling up! The description is beyond disturbing! It’s a freakin’ nightmare – 100% small dicks only, and straight.aebn.com/transsexual is flaunting this shit around!
Time to calm myself down! Breathe in, breathe out, and the exclamation marks are out of sight. How about Tranny Candy? That sounds way better. I’m on the verge of losing it once again, but the gentleman of my notoriety needs to play it cool. The thing that bugs me is the uninventive description – beautiful busty women with big cocks fuck. The video hits and exceeds the two-hour mark, and all you came up with was this description. I write 1.5K words with my eyes closed on a single picture of a solo show, showing one granny and one fake dick!
Whoa, I just discovered a cool list of filters
Before I proceed to the payment part, you ought to know what to expect from straight.aebn.com/transsexual, right? On top of the homepage, you’ll want to click on the See all option. That’s when things seriously start to look up. First of all, right here, I found out that the transsexual category on aebn.com counts over 5.2K movies in total. If you ration it, you’ll have over 14 videos per day for a whole year. That’s 14 seed-spraying sessions till the next Labor Day. If you behave, it might last you long enough to have one more just before Santa gets down the chimney.
Sort by…hmmm, let’s go with the newest. People who pay for smut want to know everything about updating schedules. Bummer, no dates! Here come the exclamation marks again! Speaking of dates, there’s one interesting, but a rather unuseful thing in the filters list on the right side of straight.aebn.com/transsexual. You can actually check the box and filter the stash by choosing the release year – from 1960 to 1969, from 1990 to 1999, and so on. The chances of anyone knowing the release date of his favorite porn are rather slim, but it’s one thing to mess around with while you are waiting for another surge of blood to your groin.
Some of the filters are pretty damn cool
What’s cool is that these are not some in-your-face filters but something you need to give some thought. One click on the Studios list won’t open a list of studios. Nooo, you have to choose one specific letter and only then do what you came here to do. So fucking phenomenal! Smart dudes only, who know their porn. To put you out of your misery, I’m gonna mention a couple of good names – Transsensual, TGirls Hookup, TS Massage, Evil Angel, and Kink. You’re welcome.
When it comes to video quality, members get the best of the best. No grainy shit for you paying fuckers! Let’s check that shit out right now! There is a total of 147 pages of content and 36 videos on each page. When I checked the HD box, I ended up seeing 48 pages in total, and the UHD box led me to 5 pages. Hmmm, what happened with the other 94 pages?! Who the fuck knows?! In any case, now you know what to expect. I’m not saying that the majority of the straight.aebn.com/transsexual collection is grainy and unwatchable, but it’s either not HD, or the filters are shit. A lose-lose situation.
Buy minutes, stream, own, download…go nuts
Aebn.com doesn’t work like your regular smut joint. You have to buy minutes that you’ll later spend on streaming. This idea is often frowned upon, especially by the always-horny dickheads who hate that track-my-minutes ordeal. There’s a shitload of different Add time plans, but the shortest one that can be seen as a trial gets you 15 minutes for $3.95. Now, when you take into consideration that the straight.aebn.com/transsexual stash counts over 5K videos and that all of them are full-length, you’ll realize that the 15 minutes won’t do anything for your boner. Moving on.
$5.95 for 30 minutes, $11.95 for 100 minutes, $49.95 for 500 minutes, and $84.95 for 1000 minutes. It is what it is. The good part is that by buying minutes, you get to unlock the whole website. There are other options, though. If you are really specific about your porno, and you want to own a specific one, you’ll get to do that too. To rent one movie for 48 hours, streaming only, you’ll have to pay $4.99. The prices are the same for all movies. To unlock streaming for life, you’ll need to pay $9.99/per movie. The streaming + download option, for life, is $24.99.
Yes, you have to pay, but straight.aebn.com/transsexual won’t leave you in the dark. The site comes with all sorts of filtering tools that are sure to show you what a certain video is about before you make the payment. I already told you about the descriptions, which are pretty damn obscure, but think about the studio name, a list of all featured pornstars, running time, and the hot thumbnail. It’s all gonna be cool, as long as you keep your bank account up and running.
It’s time to wrap this thing up
Trannies are wicked. These ladyboys bang like there’s no tomorrow, once again proving that men rule the world. Don’t give me that Who run the world shit! I’ve seen those wretched lesbians trying to drill a cunt with a fake cock. The magic is in the hips, and ladies just don’t have it in them. After spending a couple of dollars, you’ll know that that was money well-spent. The sorting tools are sure to show you the way, and this spectacular review is the icing on the cake.
Do what you always dreamed of doing! Wank off to chicks with dicks! Nobody is gonna judge you. You know, there’s a huge difference between a guy who busts a nut to amateur tranny shit shot in a grubby old shack and the man who watches premium transsexual porn. Do it with style!