Topzudi has what I’d consider a somewhat risky name for a new adult website, because it doesn’t really even hint at what you’re going to find when you pull the site up in your browser. On the other hand, it’s the kind of brand name that can really stand out in a crowded marketplace, but only if they manage to gain some solid traction. There’s a reason why Brazzers is easier to remember than XMoviesForYou, even if the latter tells you exactly what you’re going to get. The question is, can Topzudi make a strong enough impression to stick in the heads of perverts ‘round the world?
Less than six months after launch, Topzudi.com is already pulling close to 15,000 visitors a month, so they’re off to a great start. In case you’re still wondering, the ambiguously named site is a purveyor of high-quality, realistic sex dolls. I’m constantly looking for new toys to stick my dick in when I’m not smashing real, live pornstars over at PornDudeCasting, so I couldn’t wait to see what these newcomers brought with them to the love doll scene. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
Fake Boobs and Booty at Topzudi
The front page of Topzudi looks a lot like what I expect from a good sex toy shop in 2024. It’s not an overly flashy layout, keeping it relatively simple but clean, with a basic all-caps text logo and simple header, devoting most of the space to photos of the products on offer. The fake babes are realistic enough that, at a glance, you might think you were looking at a high-end escort directory. Look a little closer and you’ll notice they ain’t quite human. Maybe it’s the doll eyes that give them away, or maybe just the fact that they look hotter than any of the locals you’ve met on Tinder.
They’ve got a decent range of sexy sex dolls. There are blondes and brunettes, Asian girls and white girls, slim chicks and slightly more voluptuous babes. That said, the selection ain’t quite as wide as some of the other shops I’ve reviewed. I didn’t see any really thick models, nor big-eyed anime girls, blue-skinned alien whores or elf-eared nymphettes. Perhaps they’re aiming for a certain grounded aesthetic, or maybe the relatively limited selection is just a result of the shop’s newness. These guys are actually manufacturing their own toys, as opposed to all the shops just reselling them from other factories. As anywhere, I expect the offerings to expand as the company grows.
The limited selection may also be related to their pricing. One of the very first things I noticed was that Topzudi dolls start in the lower-mid range. Love dolls in general can be a huge investment for the average masturbator, and if you’ve looked at big-name sites like RealDoll, your wallet may be aching more than your balls. Topzudi.com has full-size love dolls starting at under four hundo, meaning you can finally get a girlfriend for less than you’d pay for a PS5. It’s a tough choice, ain’t it?
Take their Abbie doll. She’s currently listed at $359, down from $559. Looking at the price, I thought she’d be a teeny tiny model, but nah, she’s 5’3” with C-cup titties and a 20-inch waist. The price is already low, but there’s a coupon code listed at the top of the screen for fifty bones off, and they also offer free shipping. They do mention that the free shipping is offered for a “limited time,” but that might just be a bullshit marketing tactic. They’re competing in a market where free shipping has become standard, so it might not be the wisest choice to add charges the other guys eat themselves.
Topzudi.com has warehouses in the USA, EU and China. If you’re in a hurry to smash a silicone or TPE babe, you can browse by location. In your region, you can get your new fake girlfriend within a week. If you’re a Westerner ordering direct from China, it could take closer to a month. Just how blue are your balls right now?
Show Me to the Sexy Fake Girls
If I have immediate complaint about Topzudi, it’s just that I wish their website was a bit more organized. They’re a newer site with a relatively slim collection compared to the other guys, but it’s already kind of a pain in the ass to browse. They don’t have any good filters for dialing in your perfect silicone slut, and they’ve only got a few very broad categories to choose from.
As mentioned above, you can peruse the US or EU stock if you’re in a hurry. The only other categories are TPE Sex Dolls, Silicone Sex Dolls, AI Head Love Dolls and Selected Sex Dolls. Most joints give you options related to body types and styles like Anime dolls. Hopefully they roll out more categories as the site grows, because otherwise it’s just going to get harder to browse as they build their fleet of available sex dolls. They do have decent tagging implemented, so I think the site’s just a couple little tweaks away from being easier to browse.
I’m really intrigued by the AI sex dolls that have been popping up on these sites lately, so I took a stroll down that aisle first. Topzudi currently only has one of these futuristic sex bots, but she sure is pretty. At $1,599, she’s one of the pricier models on the site, but she blinks, moves her eyes, and moves her mouth when she talks. The AI even helps her learn to chat better based on past conversations, making her feel more like a real woman that the waifu pillow you’ve been dry humping until you’re sore and bleeding.
I watched the preview video, and no shit, I’m impressed with their AI doll. I saw one on another site a few weeks ago with a thick-accented doll talking dirty but incoherently out of a speaker embedded in her side. This one seems more realistic in the voice, language, and facial expressions, so I might have to call the bank about getting an increase in my credit line.
I’ll Have What He’s Humping
Another small complaint I have about Topzudi.com is that they don’t currently offer custom models. Most of the other websites do, and considering these guys are an actual manufacturer, I have to assume they’ll roll out some customization options in the future. As of this writing, though, you’ll just have to settle for what’s listed on the menu.
For the prices, I ain’t complaining. Although I’d prefer their Elena doll with red hair, I think her big ass, huge boobies and pretty face are a strong value for the satanic $666 they’re asking. Oh, and dolls come with free surprise gifts and random sexy underwear. I mean, I’d probably hit Victoria’s Secret to pick up a few marvelously skimpy outfits, but I definitely appreciate the freebies.
Topzudi allows users to leave reviews, which I think is vital for any online shop in 2024, whether they’re selling toys for you to cum inside of or just some SFW bullshit you’re going to give your nephew who loves Fortnite. Elena only has one review so far, but it’s five stars from a verified user. “She is very realistic and soft to the touch,” Bryan writes. “She is perfect for me.” Another feature I’d like to see on the site in the future is the ability to reshuffle your search results by user rating.
Topzudi.com may be a newcomer to the realistic love doll market, but I think they’re a good contender for your shortlist if you’re in the market for one of these things. Their selection ain’t the biggest, but they’ve got some damn fine models available for sale. I think their biggest selling point right now is probably their pricing. Since they’re making dolls and not just reselling them, they can offer considerably lower prices than even some of the other China-based companies. If you want a TPE or silicone lover but can’t afford to shell out a couple grand for the gal, do yourself a favor and check these girls out.