We all need Dick Drainers in our lives. I say that not only as a hardcore pornography enthusiast but also as a health and wellness advocate. You see, folks, blue balls are one of the most underdiagnosed ailments among perverts and the general public at large. The only real foolproof cure is to have your dick drained regularly. While this is a procedure you could theoretically have performed in a hospital, ideally by a really sexy nurse or three, most of you will opt for a DIY home treatment. You don’t need much in the way of medical equipment to get relief; your hand, a glob of spit, and a little bit of smut will have you draining those puppies in no time, ideally in a satisfying, explosive release. I hope you’ve got an old sock ready, too.
The only thing missing from the equation is the dirty movies. Well, folks, you know how I do here at ThePornDude. My whole purpose is to help direct you to precisely the kind of perversion you’re looking for when it’s time to empty your nuts. Well, today, we’ll be looking at DickDrainers.com, a premium site “showcasing the BEST blowjob and rimjob artists!” That’s according to the official motto, anyway, listed right under the site’s title on the front page. I always like to check these things out for myself, though. So with that in mind, I’ll be joining the site’s near-million visitors a month for a well-lubed look around.
Getting to Know the Dick Drainers
Right from the very first page, it’s clear that DickDrainers isn’t your typical hardcore paysite. For one thing, it isn’t exactly common to hype the rimjobs right in the slogan like that. Ass-eating has arguably exploded in popularity over the last couple of years, with more and more deviates openly admitting they appreciate a tongue up the bum. Even still, it feels like a rarity among the big-name premium joints. You just don’t see it all too often compared to the usual subgenres like blowjobs, threesomes, and regular ol’ dick-in-the-butthole anal sex.
Another thing that immediately set the site apart was the cover image: a dude with an offscreen BBC and an onscreen ski mask holding a naked blonde babe by the mouth. It’s a bit more menacing than the front-page imagery on your average reality porn site, your first real hint that this might be harder than the hardcore you’re used to.
Clicking through to the actual DickDrainers.com tour page only confirms that vibe. The huge slides at the top promoting recently featured flicks show a babe in roller skates leaning on a sports car with her ass hanging out. The next few images feature doe-eyed babes gagging on big black cock and sticking their tongues up black buttholes. I expected cheaper sets and more amateurish camera work given the niche, but the vibe is glossy, well-lit, and professional. You’ll notice the usual premium porn backdrop of mansions and expensive hotel rooms.
If anything feels amateur here, it’s the choice of talent. It’s not a bunch of ugly, untalented randos they found on Craiglist, nor is it the selection of the famous chicks you see on the big-name paysites. Instead, you get a largely unknown mix of rising pornstars, fetish models, and legitimate girls next door. The most popular models on the roster include kinky chicks like Anastasia Rose, Alex Chance, Busty Emma, and Camille Black. I did a little digging, and the most famous pornstar I could find was the beautiful and talented Skylar Vox. So you may not see your favorite starlets who you’ve been whacking off to for years, but you will have an excellent selection of beautiful women to watch eating butthole.
Guests can watch 30 free DickDrainers videos without having to sign up or log in. They’re short montages, typically under a minute, but they do give you a good sense of what the porn is all about here. The preview for Married To An Asshole, for example, is only twenty seconds of hardcore butt-fucking on an expensive-looking white couch. The trailer for A Butthole Buffet features the same from a different anal position. And the sneak peek of Everything Juicy On Her takes a broader look at all the fat-ass twerking, face slapping, messy cocksucking, salad tossing, and semen gagging contained within. Come for the rough face fucking, stay for the puking and post orgasm torture.
Dick Drainers prides themselves on being a rimming site, but I don’t think it’s fair to shoehorn them as a salad-tossing website. Rimming is one of the most common activities, but as you’ll notice in the freebies, there’s a nice, wide variety of hardcore sex going on. The entire Categories page includes classics like 2 on 1, Anal Creampie, and Facials, plus kinkier niches like 1st Interracial Rimming, CFNM Clothed Female Nude Male, Cuckolding, Puking Race-play, and Taboo. See? I told you this wasn’t your typical hardcore paysite!
Daring Dick Drainers Draining Dick
Honestly, my dudes, I didn’t have to watch thirty free previews before I knew I wanted a ticket to the whole show. After taking in the trailer to Racist’s Teenage Daughter Makes A New Friend, I clicked my way through to the DickDrainers.com signup page to see what the damage was. Well, it turns out they’re charging the same thirty bucks as pretty much every other paysite out there. There’s no upcharge for the increased level of kink on this one, which I know all the fetishists will appreciate. But the discounts on longer subscriptions aren’t great compared to other paysites; the cheapest rate is still $75 for three months.
For ten bucks a month, DickDrainers has their own OnlyFans account where you can see exclusive scenes and photos, plus behind-the-scenes videos, sneak peeks, and other little perks. There are nearly 900 Media posts and free full vids in the DMs, which sounds like an excellent bang for your buck. They say it includes “one-on-one messaging,” though I doubt it’s the same kind of messaging you would get with a typical OnlyFans membership. I want to talk to the girls, not the producers!
The video collection on DickDrainers.com is even more impressive. As of this writing, the stash includes nearly 300 fuck flicks of chicks draining dicks. Scenes usually clock in between 30 and 60 minutes, though you’ll find some outliers in there. It’s a healthy collection, to say the least, and it’ll keep your hands busy for a long goddamn time. Don’t forget the lube, folks, or you’ll open yourself up to some serious chafing.
Dick Drainers uploaded their very first movie in October 2015. They’ve since built up a kickass, sizable collection, and they’re still going strong. My one minor complaint about the site is their sporadic release rate. Instead of having a set schedule, they drop a new movie roughly every week or two. You can’t set your watch to it, but you can expect at least a couple of new videos to hit the site during any given month you’re subscribed. My golden standard for paysites is one release a week, which DickDrainers doesn’t quite live up to.
I don’t think the wonky release rate will be a dealbreaker for many masturbators, though. Sure, you can get steadier updates from a different premium site, but how many websites can you think of with this much rimming? Dick Drainers doesn’t feel like it’s a direct competitor to most paysites out there, instead offering something just a bit harder than what you’d expect from any of the major players. I’d bet a huge portion of their user base subscribes precisely because of all that salad-tossing action.
While they aren’t shooting with the most prominent, most famous pornstars in the world, DickDrainers.com has the kind of high production values you want out of a premium porn site. The movies are well shot, hardcore to the fucking core, and the collection is fat enough to be worth the membership price. It’s an easy recommendation for porn fans who prefer the convenience and depravity of a paysite over a free tube, but I wish there were more ass-eating going on. It’s a simple formula: they’ve taken high-quality premium porn and turned the Butt Munch dial all the way up, and it works so well. Check those freebies out front, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.