Group Mams! Some things in life are best done in groups. Some examples are team sports, heavy drinking, cult creation, and most importantly of all, sex. I’m unsure if my readers can even properly imagine having group sex. Single sex is so far from the realms of possibility for you that group sex sounds like a fairy tale.
Well, let me be the one to tell you that it’s no fairy tale. Group sex happens all the time, and I’m involved in a surprisingly large percentage of it. Group sex is my favorite way to fuck. One woman is rarely enough to handle a strong alpha male like myself. My dick is far too potent. I’ve permanently injured more than my fair share of fragile pussy. What can I say? I’m a freak and a jackhammer.
Mommy Issues
Let’s leave the group sex on the back burner for a second. There is no mommy issues shortage amongst my readers. In fact, many of you mofos still live with your mom. That bitch still takes care of you like you were eight years old. It’s a sad truth that I hope one day changes.
One of the side effects of mommy issues is being attracted to older ladies. Sometimes this means MILFS, and that’s just fine. But other times, it means GIWLF (Grandma I Wouldn’t Like to Fuck). I myself like them young, fertile, and tight, but I’m not everyone. I know that plenty of my readers want the old, barren, and infirmed.
As a porn reviewer, I am often reminded of the old adage, “to each his own,” which certainly applies here. I’m super happy you guys exist. Old bitches are horny as fuck, and if there weren’t dudes willing to fuck them, they would be barking up my tree. Gross.
However, there are advantages to fucking old cunts. First and foremost, it’s a lot easier. All of my virgin readers should be trying to hook up with some old pussy. It’s the best chance you’ll ever have to get your cock wet before you die.
It might not be the most appealing thing to you, but it’s better than the alternative. Just close your eyes and picture one of your favorite porn videos. Better yet, put some porn on the TV before you start fucking. Old horny bitches actually love porn. And to be honest, she’s not the only ugly fuck involved in this sexual experience. She would probably rather watch porn than look at you also.
Now let’s move group sex back to the front burner and combine both concepts. The only thing a man with serious mommy issues wants more than to fuck an old bitch is to fuck multiple old bitches at one time. Personally, if I had to fuck an old cunt, I’m taking it one old cunt at a time.
All I’m trying to say is that I know a room smells crazy after a few old bitches fuck in it. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough incense, Glade Plug-ins, and air fresheners in the world to deal with that funk. What if one of these bitches was wearing a diaper? It’s not out of the realm of possibility. Incontinent bitches get horny too.
Regardless, if you’re still reading this article, then I know you want to fuck these old bitches badly. I already told you that old bitches are easier to fuck, but some of you are so unfuckable that not even fat old grandmas want you inside their snatch. So it’s for you fucks that I present GroupMams.
These Dudes Need to Unionize
Group Mams is all about gang banging old cunts. Oftentimes, the gentlemen banging these old cunts are a third their age. That brings me to a quick side note. When I say a third their age, I’m not exaggerating. A lot of these dudes are nineteen or twenty. My question is, how much are they getting paid? There is no way it’s enough.
The gentlemen performers can wear a smile all they want, but as a porn reviewer, I’m a student of human phycology. When I stare deep into their eyes, I can see the pain. Don’t worry. It won’t ruin your experience. You’re all too dumb to notice, and why would you care anyway? But I see it, and to me, that means they aren’t being paid enough. But to be real, what would be enough? I’m not sure there is an “enough.”
Moving on, if you want to be assured that GroupMams is a top-notch porn studio, look no further than that it’s part of the Adult Prime network of porn sites. These guys are the fucking porn masters. Adult Prime covers around one hundred different studios. There isn’t a major porn genre they don’t cover. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a site called “Limbless Midget Nuggets Get Pissed and Shit on By Albanian Coma Victims.”
Now it should go without saying that you don’t get your hands on Adult Prime network content without throwing down some dough. If you want to see these old stinky cunts getting drilled out by recent high school grads, They’ll need a debit or credit card number.
Bang For Your Buck
But, despite how superb its network is, Adult Prime doesn’t overcharge for any of its sites, including Group Mams. They offer three different subscription options. The first is a one-month recurring membership for $19.99. That’s an incredible one-month price, but it is on sale, so be quick to get it while it lasts. Once the sale is over, the price will go back up to $29.99.
The second option is a six-month subscription for $14.99 a month. That is fifty percent off the regular one-month cost. What an amazing deal. These are some of the best prices for any porn sites you’ll ever see.
Finally, the last option is a one-year membership for only fucking $9.99 a month. That’s fucking ridiculous. Bare in mind that you’re getting access to the entire fucking Adult Prime network. That’s one hundred and six studios with twenty-five thousand videos, all for ten bucks. You would be stupid not to join.
For that price, you might be thinking about what the catch is. For a lot of paid premium porn sites, that catch is the web design, but not on Group Mams. They crushed the web design. It’s engaging, exciting, easy to navigate, and stays out of the way of your boner. The main menu resides up top and contains the options Home, Studios, Group Mams, Search bar, Studios, Videos, Photos, Live cams, DVD, Fun, Favorite, Get more credits, My inbox, My profile, Clips, and Recommended. The second “studio” option is a drop-down menu.
The Adult Prime Network does host its own live streaming service. You’ll find a nice supply of old bitches, but not much group sex. The service runs as well as any of its major competitors, so if you’re a live stream fan, please enjoy.
One of my favorite aspects of Group Mams and Adult Prime, in general, is that they still deal in DVDs. It’s getting rarer and rarer to see sites do that, but I know my rural readers appreciate it. There is still a lot of place in the world where internet access is not stable. Those people need to beat their meat also, and DVDs are the best way to do it.
Along with videos, the picture selection is also massive and constantly growing. If you read me often, you know I still appreciate photos. I consider them to be the foreplay of masturbation. If you haven’t scrolled through some in a while, I highly recommend it.
Tips and Tricks
I want to end with some tips and tricks to watching content on Group Mams. First, don’t look at these bitches feet. Feet age terribly, even if the rest of a bitch hasn’t. They’ll remind you of your own grandmother’s crusty ass dusty feet, and no one needs that in their life while watching porn.
Second, if you’re reading this article a few years after it was written, don’t attach your smellivison insert into your VR helmet. You don’t want to know what these cunts smell like. Pussy doesn’t age like a fine wine. It ages like milk.
Well, if you guys made it all the way to the end of this article, it means you must be dedicated to the cause. Your passion for old stinky cunt is unrivaled. You will fall in love with Group Mams and perhaps never need me again.
There is very little to complain about on Group Mams. They crushed it. The only gripe I have is that this shit is gross, and I never want to see it again. I’ll stick to young tight pussy, thank you.
There’s nothing left for you gents to do but hop on Group Mams and let your mom issues spring forth into the real world.