Everyone loves a good creampie! This shit sounds like the introduction to some TV cooking show hosted by a slightly chubby housewife with an exquisite talent for egg whisking. What I wanted to say is that creampies are appealing to both women and men. Men dig the idea because they are too lazy and horny to pull it out before the grand finale, and chicks dig it because they just do. I guess it has something to do with impregnation, merging two bodies into one soul shit. It’s some chick spiritual crap that I don’t want to get myself into.
Why adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html? Well, first of all, because the link is so freaking big that it’s annoying, and I want to annoy you! I want my paragraphs to look like shit! On the other hand, if I chose the more logical way of telling you to go to adultempire.com and look for the creampie category, you would have messed it up, and the whole thing would turn into a shitshow. Choose the easier way, copy adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html into your browser and knock yourself out. Here come the details!
The basic premise of adultempire.com
Adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html is not your ordinary porn joint where you are welcomed with a hot slideshow and an intricate, unique logo. The site in question resembles an online sex shop, and it’s exactly what it is. Here, you can buy dildoes and shit, but you can buy X-rated videos as well. Something like a store where comics are in one corner, hookers are in another, and juicy creampies are in the third. Nobody wants a creampie without a hooker, and there’s nothing you can do with a hooker unless you get a boner first. A clever scenario that has helped AdultEmpire.com stay on top of the game for so long.
Adultempire.com is a mothafucking giant. It boasts a shitload of AVN and XBIZ awards. The site was launched in the previous century, has been selling DVD porn for decades, and boasts a huge collection of porn, counting over 93K DVDs and over 82K xxx videos. Yeah, the dildos are also there, but I am not interested in some fake cocks that turn demure housewives into sluts. I am an old-school guy who prefers hoes with a talent for creampies.
Creampies, creampies, buy fresh creampies
Buy them while they’re hot! C’mon, people, only a couple more left! Only 6.9K creampies left! Hurry up! I had to do this. I had to turn into a fucking idiot and give you an example that would show you the size of adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html’s library in all its glory. Having almost 7K of anything is worthy of applause, let alone having such a huge number of porn in one category only. Adult Empire is packed with categories, and creampies is just one of them.
The whole first page of adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html has the New and On Sale sign all over it. The page is notorious for freakishly regular updates coming in huge batches. Videos are SD, HD or 4K. I’ll come back to that part later. Now, I want you to understand that you can’t buy a membership plan and call it a day. It’s much more complicated than that on adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html and pricier. Bear in mind that you’re gonna get your hands on exclusive content that you won’t be able to find anywhere else on the web.
Pay attention
All videos on AdultEmpire can be rented. There’s this sale going on right now, lowering the two-day rental price from $3.99 to $2.99. If you go with the rent option, you’ll get to stream it for two days but not download it. The second option is to go with the HD stream for life option, which is $5.99. Without the discount, the price is $7.99. No downloading. For $7.49 ($9.99 before the sale), you get HD download + streaming for life. The pricing applies to one video only, not the whole website. Continue reading! More pricing incoming!
One of the most popular membership options on adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html is to buy minutes. I have never been much of a fan because people tend to lose track of time when they look at tits and twats, but hey, a website has to earn some dough. The standard membership plans are way handier and cheaper long-term. Here comes the pricing – $9.99 for 50 minutes, $19.99 for 150 minutes, $49.99 for 450 minutes…whew, this shit is boring. There is a total of eight options to buy minutes, and the priciest one costs $499.99 and gives you 6,000 minutes.
This whole minutes thing is good because you get to unlock the whole collection of porn on AdultEmpire.com, as well as its adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html category. If you play your cards right, you should be fine. Although a tad pricey, the site plays it fair. These guys don’t lure you into buying minutes only to make your waist them while searching for the right porn for too long. The page provides all members with such a huge number of filtering tools that it is impossible to make a mistake and stream, download, or rent the wrong movie.
The things that are sure to help you find your kind of porn
The first thing you should do is choose the product type – DVD, Blu-ray, or Rental. All of the filtering shit that I am gonna mention from now on is located in the list on the right side of the adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html homepage. You won’t have to deal with the categories because you have already recognized your inner urge to binge creampies. There’s something about this review that makes me awfully hungry.
The thing that matters is a huge-ass list of pornstars. On the one hand, this list will help you narrow down your search, and on the other one, it’s gonna show you what kind of a website adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html really is. Kenzie Reeves, Aubrey Addams, and Lily Adams are only some of the renowned names. Crème-de-la-crème stars to spice up your creampies. What the fuck is wrong with me?!
The list of studios does pretty much the same thing as the pornstars one mentioned above. Don’t make me repeat the same old shit over and over again. Devil’s Films, JAVhub, My Pervy Family, Sticky Video, and many, many more good names are on the list. You can also set the price range in the list. The biggest number of videos on adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html fall in the $10 – $19.99 price range. Only 14 movies that are over $20.
No half-ass clips and mediocre bullshit
What if I told you that there’s not a single movie on adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html that’s under one hour long? The running time of these releases is freaking phenomenal, and it somewhat justifies the pricey membership options. Almost 2K videos that are over two hours long are awesome. Another fine thing that the list of filtering tools revealed is that around 100 videos were added to adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html in the last month. If my math is good, and it always is, that means that the page adds around three news movies to its creampie collection every single day.
Anywhere you click, you are gonna find some valuable info, whether it is a list of tags that is under every video on the site or the list of all pornstars who do the banging in the video of your liking. Before you pay to unlock the streaming, downloading, or renting option, you are gonna know exactly what you will be getting for your dough.
At the time of this review, all new accounts got 15 minutes for free. It’s not sensational, and 15 minutes certainly isn’t enough to wank off to any kind of porn, but I guess it’s a cool way to test the waters. To become a member of AdultEmpire.com, you’ll have to fill out a form with stuff like email, username, and password. You know the drill!
Final thoughts
When you are a teen (18+), any porn is good porn. When you get to a certain point in life, you realize that spending greens on top-notch smut is the best investment in any man’s life. Don’t give me that crap about inflation, poverty, and shit. Anyone can afford to spend $15 to unlock a video starring some of the best hoes the world has ever seen! Adultempire.com/125/category/creampie-porn-videos.html is a hell of a place, boasting a great layout and a crazy number of videos showing creampies in all their glory. Try it out! It’s dough well spent!