For better or worse, women get the better feeling orgasm. When I’m fucking the shit out of a bitch, and she is cumming all over my cock, I get jealous sometimes. I wish my orgasms felt so overwhelmingly wonderful. Sure, it feels pretty fucking awesome when I bust a nut, but I’ve never cried out to the Gods for mercy.
Grand Cum Seizure
I gave a bitch a seizure once. I know it sounds terrible, but it was fucking incredible. I was still inside of her, so her pussy started seizing on my dick. Her kegel muscles were flexing with inhuman strength. Unfortunately, medical attention came a bit late cause I had to let a bitch finish. When I busted a nut, it was with such force that it took her out of the seizure. Needless to say, she was a bit upset I kept fucking her instead of calling an ambulance. If only she knew how good her pussy felt, she would seize for me more often.
But as good as that nut-busting was, it pales in comparison to ladies. Bitches have demonic orgasms. Their eyes roll back in their head, they speak in ancient dead languages, and they will kill you if you stop fucking them at the wrong time.
It sucks balls knowing I’ll never experience anything like that, but on the bright side, I don’t have periods and don’t have to give birth. In the end, I think it’s an equal trade. I took a fat shit that almost killed me last week. I couldn’t imagine that stinky brown doo doo baby being a real baby.
Something to Show For It
However, there is one thing the male orgasm has over the female orgasm. The male orgasm produces results. We get to see the evidence of us having busted a nut. Our sperm let’s us know that the past is real. Bitches don’t get the satisfaction of manufacturing baby batter. And it’s not like they need to cum to get pregnant. That point is quite clear, judging by the fact that the human race still exists, and most of you guys suck at fucking.
It’s not only that we fire out a wad of nut juice when we cum. It’s also that we can put that wad anywhere we want. Yes, oftentimes, this means that we want to baste a bitches cervix like we’re whitewashing a fence. But we have options. We can cum behind the TV or on the cat. We could cum into a cereal box or a bird feeder. We can fertilize plants, stain furniture, or polish a door knob. The options are endless.
Of course, many ladies prefer we fire a round somewhere on their person. There are a couple of different reasons for this. First, it does make cleaning up easier. Bitches can hop in the shower, and the cum rinses right off. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to get cum off a house cat before, but it’s not easy. Especially since they are already upset that you came on them. My bad, little Tinkerbell.
That’s not the whole story, though. Easy clean-up is convinient, but it’s not the source of a lady’s urge to take the cum herself. It’s out of a sense of envy. Bitches wish they had ammo to fire out, so in lieu of having their own, they want to have some of yours.
I get it, and I have no problem sharing the love. In fact, I want to, and I’m glad these bitches are game. Now we just need to mix in the final ingredient before getting to today’s review: gluttony. When people love something, we want more and more of it. It doesn’t matter what the consequences are. Humans are simple creatures who just want to feel good.
That is how we got to bukkake. Let me clear up one thing before moving on, though. The scenario I’ve built here may have you thinking that women came up with bukkake. Come on, let’s be real. Bukkake was definitely a guy’s idea. However, the fact that any woman would agree to it says something.
Actually, it says a lot, and you don’t have to look any farther than the bukkake subreddit for evidence. It’s loaded with sexy little sluts begging to be covered in the loads of dozens of men.
Open the Front Door
Reddit is often described as the front door of the internet. There isn’t a topic in this universe that doesn’t have its own subreddit. Go ahead. Attempt to find one. I’ll wait. Think of any random object or activity and search for it on Reddit. Not only will you find a subreddit, you’ll find dozens of them. All with a passionate base of users sharing stories, trading tips and tricks, and informing others of their exploits.
The idea behind Reddit is pretty simple. It’s a news, content rating, and general discussion website where people can post links, text, images, and videos to be voted upon by other Reddit users. Posts that get more votes rise to the top of the subreddit. Eventually, a post can arrive on the front page if it gets enough votes. It’s that front page that feels like the front door of the internet.
Let me break that down for my more retarded readership. Reddit is broken into subdivisions based on the subject. Users post shit, and other Users vote on it. If folks like your stuff, it becomes more visible. It seems like such a simple concept, but it changed the internet as we know it.
While Reddit is not a porn site by definition, it is the perfect medium for it. I’ve always said that you can trust your fellow masturbators to help you find porn, and this is the ultimate representation of that. You’ll find excellent content and dedicated posters no matter what porn subreddit you venture to.
While all porn subreddits are fantastic in my book, the bukkake subreddit deserves some extra flowers. For one reason or another, bukkake fans are particularly passionate about the craft. It’s this passion that has made the bukkake subreddit what it is today.
While we all know what bukkake is, you might not know what the direct Japanese translation is. Technically bukkake means “splash” or “heavy splash.” It certainly is a fitting term because these bitches are getting splashed alright. Splashed might not even be a strong enough term. It’s like a tide of cum is coming in on their face and bodies.
Be Cool. Follow the Cum Rules
Before you guys get too excited and start posting all of the bukkake content you have on your computer, you better review the rules. They are simple, but if you don’t follow them, you’ll be booted off, and I know you motherfuckers don’t want that.
First and foremost, all content must depict bukkake or the aftermath thereof. Single cum shots do not count as bukkake. If you ask me, double or triple cumshots don’t either. It doesn’t become bukkake until at least four people cum on a bitch. If it were up to me, I’d make that number five, but people seem to accept four. Shit, they accept three, and to those people, I bite my thumb.
When posting, only use Redgifs, Gfycat, Imgur, Vidble, or Redd.it as hosts. If you’re posting a video clip, please include the timestamp of the first bukkake splash down. Not all of us have time to wait for a motherfucker to work up his vinegar strokes. I have shit to do today, god damnit.
Not that this affects any of you unmotivated leaches, but sellers are welcome pending they don’t directly advertise via post titles. And, of course, make sure it’s on topic. Finally, no bukkakeing minors, animals, or animal miners. If I see you busting a nut on a squirrel with a helmet light and pick ax, I’m going to be upset.
In theory, if you guys were to post, what should it be of? As of my last visit while researching to write this article, the most recent post was of an Asian bitch chugging over a pint of cum out of a beer glass. Sometimes I feel the need to pause and reflect on how grateful I am that I don’t have to chug a pint of cum in my line of work. While what I do certainly isn’t for everyone, chugging cum is for even less.
I know that my readers are all familiar with porn subreddits. I’m sure you’ve been many times, but you’re missing out if you haven’t had the opportunity to check out the bukkake subreddit. It’s a classic that has everything a bukkake lover could need.
This is a subreddit, so I’m not going to try to improve upon it. These things are what they are. All we can ask is that they are well moderated, and this one is.
Countless loads are waiting for your eyes on the Bukkake subreddit, so don’t let them down.