Nothing speaks about a website’s sense of style as much as a toilet paper pattern as a background. I am not talking about that expensive, all-white, three-layers shit paper that smells like peaches. No, I am talking about the cheap, recycled one that you tear with your fingers while you wipe your ass. This would make some sense if jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com was about scat, but it’s not. It’s about huge facials, but I guess that a chick needs something to wipe her face when the cameras turn off.
What the hell happened with the website designer, and who is the webmaster who said yes to the shit paper design? I would have paid to attend the meeting where these two fuckers sat down, looked at the page, and nodded their heads in unison, with a grin on their faces saying, “jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com is gonna make us loads of dough.” Idiots! Moving on with details!
No Cum Dodgers Here!
Richard Moulton presents, says the welcoming message. Who the fuck is Richard, and who is Jesse? I get the loads monster facials part. The five chicks on the welcoming pic are amateurs, obviously, or semi-pros. In any case, I don’t recognize any of the faces, but they are smiling and keeping their eyes wide open despite loads of cum dripping down their face. That’s what I call devotion. I still haven’t had the chance to explore this site through and through, but I have a distinct feeling that jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com relies on chicks to attract new members, and there is nothing wrong with that.
The page says something about boring “diet facials” and the supreme appeal behind a super-jizz spurt. It’s fine if you have a thing for messy facials. On the other hand, I don’t think that the page is about bukkake! I think it’s about one dick that has the potential to shoot gallons of spunk in one spray. I’ve always struggled with believing in mega loads and squirting juice, but this review is not about me. It’s about dirty fetishists who don’t care if something is legit or not as long as it rocks their boat. I am fine with that.
Time to do some counting
Jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com didn’t quite nail the design, and I am especially annoyed by the huge thumbnails. The only way to figure out the number of videos in the site’s collection is to scroll down, count the number of vids on each page, and then multiply it by the number of pages. As it turns out, jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com has 600+ videos and galleries. Actually, two sets of galleries come with each flick, one softcore and one explicit. Of course, you need to go premium to unlock the spunky charms of this place.
What I do like is info like running time, uploading date, description, and model’s video below each flick. Shot in HD is the sign on the majority of flicks. When it comes to the videos’ length, it varies from 25 to 70 minutes, roughly speaking. The number of photos in each gallery is also stated on the tour page. The number of softcore pics is always lower when compared to the explicit ones, but who the hell cares for some artistic crap? Certainly not people who are willing to pay for messy facials.
Weekly updates! The music to my ears! Every single week, jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com uploads a new movie and a fresh set of photos. Now you’re talking! The page was launched in 2010. The date confused me for a moment because, because with weekly updates, the number of videos should be far bigger than 600. Two possible scenarios – either jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com decided to delete the old videos of poor picture quality, or the uploading schedule wasn’t as frequent back in the day. In any case, I am not annoyed by this shit. Nothing I haven’t seen before and certainly nothing that should discourage you from going premium.
You can download trailers and make a hot collection of 40-seconds-long porn
Hooray! An opportunity of a lifetime! Ok, ok, I’m gonna stop being a rude fucker for a second and appreciate the fact that jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com allows random people to watch a short trailer of each video and choose if he wants to watch an MP4 file or the mobile version of the trailer. Yeah, 40 seconds doesn’t sound like much, but it’s pretty hot, probably because the videos are looking fucking awesome. Great camera work, great blowjob, and good-looking chicks.
As it turns out, there’s no pussy or ass drilling on jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com. In most cases, chicks wear lingerie, rub their cunnies for a little while until a dick appears and finds its way inside the hottie’s mouth. Blowjobs, lots of blowjobs, sloppy ones, deepthroat ones, gargling ones, hot ones, with one purpose only – milk that cock till every last seed of jizz lands on the face. Facial fetishists are probably thrilled by the fact that jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com focuses on facials big time, but regular dudes might get turned off by the absence of hardcore, raw banging scenes.
Money talk
To check out the pricing, you have to choose the payment method first. Another odd, annoying thing, but hardly a fuck-up. In any case, here come the numbers – $24.95 for thirty days, then $21.95 recurring every 30 days, $29.95 for 30 days (non-recurring), and $49.95 for 90 days, recurring at the same price every 90 days. Yeah, it sounds confusing, but that’s just how jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com rolls. Why make it simple when you can complicate stuff and turn it into a mess?! A unique approach.
First and foremost, as a member, you get to stream and download all videos. The same goes for picture sets, both soft and non-soft. The content is what it is. It focuses on one fetish, monster facials, and it does a fine job presenting the fetish in all its glory. Behind-the-scenes footage and slow-motion facials come as an additional, cool perk.
Some things that got me worried
The thing that raises my brow is the question of diversity. I’ve done a fair share of scrolling and browsing, but I haven’t found a single black vixen or a black dong. The models’ list is nowhere to be seen on the tour page, and filtering tools are absent too. Although the collection is small, a person still needs some tags or categories to do some proper filtering. Everything comes down to stuff like blowjobs, facials, POV, masturbation, and closeup. I don’t even know if the filtering tools would make much sense. I mean, all chicks are natural, more or less, and all scenes feature a blowjob and a facial. Just keep browsing and stop bitching.
The tour page is messy. Fun but messy and not informative enough. I want to see big, bold numbers on the homepage, 4K flashing all over the place, trailers, and slideshows. I prefer pages that are out there, leaving no second thought to the people who consider going premium. No bonus content is another bummer. That wouldn’t be a big issue if the content was more diverse. In cases like these, it comes down to a bunch of true fetishists who are willing to pay to watch repetitive facial scenes where everything is pretty much the same. Only the hotties are brand new every time, but then again, all of them are in their early twenties. No milfs, grannies, threesomes, or any similar shenanigans.
When everything is said and done
Richard Moulton needs to tweak this page asap! I bet that the page has kept the original design, which might be a serious issue in the fierce adult entertainment industry. Jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com is responsive, which is fine, but the user experience is far from mind-blowing. Definitely, something that the page needs to work on, as well as focus on infusing more diversity into its stash. Maybe hire a famous pornstar or two? That sounds like a hell of a plan!
One thing is certain. Jesseloadsmonsterfacials.com presents one-of-a-kind fetish content that is not easily found on the web, especially in 4K. The models are young (18+), tight, and pros of blowjobs, and the camera work is fucking awesome. Everything around here revolves around cum-hungry hoes, closeups, or huge facials, and that mischievous grin on the hotties’ faces where the load has been busted. Give it a go! Spend some dough on the monthly plan to test the waters! It’s worth a shot! Sayonara!