You don’t have to have been a fan of this publication for long to know that I’m a slothful bastard. Every calorie I waste on some dumb shit is a calorie I could have used to play pocket pool or fuck a few sluts I keep in my proverbial harem. Beating my meat and fucking bitches isn’t pure recreation for me; it’s a goddamn lifestyle. I have focused my entire existence on having as many orgasms as I can before I die.
Assisting My Journey
I consider any porn site that can support me in this goal a blessing of massive proportions. I’m not a godly man, but I know exactly what God would be up to if he did exist. He would be utilizing his vast omnipresence to watch sluts shower while he prepares to release a nut that can cause big bangs and create new life and new civilizations. God would be the great and powerful fapper in the sky, protecting us and showering us with his sticky blessings.
These blessings come in many shapes and sizes. For example, my unmatched meat-beating skills, a keen sense for finding fresh and incredible porn, and the capacity to share my findings with you degenerates. And let’s not forget how easily I make women cum. However, I’m not here to brag to ants. The blessing I wish to talk about today has come in the form of 9XBuddy.
The only thing more pleasing than watching free porn on the web is watching free porn that you own. It can be a blemish on an otherwise fantastic nut when you come to and realize you don’t own the porn that inspired it. As hard as I try to memorize titles, take notes, or bookmark sites, I lose favorites all the time. It’s bound to happen when you watch as much porn as I do. My brain is peppered with holes after years of smut intake. Things like a working memory have been traded out for a stronger visual cortex.
Sure, sites like Porn Hub have a tremendous selection to pick from. However, not much curation goes into the Porn Hub library. They accept everything pending it’s legal. On the otherhand, my personal collection has been painstakingly curated over decades. I can assure you that every single porn in my digital library will have you slinging ropes before you can ask for a tissue. I dare you to attempt to last 3 minutes.
Travel Whacking
Anytime I’m away from my home or a WiFi connection, I don’t have to worry about not having access to the porn I need. I simply grab one of my external hard drives labeled 9XBuddy, and I’m set. With that hard drive, I can handle any masturbation emergencies swiftly and easily. Anytime I want, I can pull the whip over and beat myself silly right then and there on the shoulder. Now that’s what I call freedom, baby. And isn’t freedom what the founding fathers intended? That’s what I tell cops when I get busted.
Much of my personal library has been downloaded through 9XBuddy. t used to be that torrenting was the best way to get your hands on porn, but that isn’t the case anymore. 9XBuddy built the perfect system with which you can download porn from thousands of sites that include all of your favorites
What to Watch Out For
There are a few things I look for before downloading porn from a new site. Of course, safety is the number one consideration by far. Unfortunately, nerdy computer betas enjoy packing torrents with spyware and viruses. It’s the only way they can bring joy to their wretched virgin lives.
9XBuddy is far safer than most torrent sites you come across. They don’t host any of their own content. Instead, it’s a third-party service. There is no real way for hackers to fuck with the content you download from 9XBuddy. It makes adding to your collection much less stressful. Plus, not having to examine every download means you can fill your coffers with great haste.
Speaking of haste, speed is another paramount concern when it comes to downloading porn. Many sites throttle their service to motivate users to buy upgrades. I get it. Everybody wants to make a dollar, but sometimes torrent sites throttle so much it’s like watching porn in the 90s. Anyone who was alive and masturbating in the 90s remembers how long it took for a picture to download. And God forbid someone picked up the phone. I’ve killed for less.
Show Some Love
9XBuddy is a free service. If you enjoy the place and wish to support it, the webmaster does request donations. Running a site like this requires time and money. If you want 9XBuddy to stick around, show the admin a little love.
There are many ways to support the site, including PayPal, Buy Me a Coffee, BTC, USDT, ETH, and BHIM. All the money goes right back into making 9XBuddy a better service. The guy isn’t in the game to get rich and buy a private island. It’s a labor of love. He’s doing the Lord’s work, but even the Lord takes tithes.
We can’t forget about video quality also. Many torrent sites exaggerate the pixel density of downloads. Few things piss me off more. I’m not a Karen, but that shit will make me go full white on a bitch. I demand to speak to a shady sites manager… metaphorically… in my head. Listen. With all the jerking off I have to fit into a day, I don’t have time to call torrent site webmasters. Regardless, that shit sends me into a rage.
Once again, 9XBuddy doesn’t host content. You’ll receive your download in the same quality the video was when watching it on the site of origin. 9XBuddy does a great job of maintaining pixel density during download.
I’ve used similar services before that hadn’t mastered the technique needed to keep videos looking fresh. What’s the point of collecting a bunch of fuzzy porn? I’m not trying to relive the days of covering TV antennas with tin foil in hopes of getting a scrambled glimpse of titty on Showtime.
Something I’ve noticed about many torrent sites is that they’re designed like shit. Most Torrent site webmasters do not give two shits what a site looks like or how easy it is to navigate. They often look fresh out of the year 2003. It’s bullshit. Most tenth graders know how to build a decent website these days. Why not hire one for pennies on the dollar to clean your shit up?
Format
9XBuddy runs on a clean and simple concept and therefore has a clean and simple design. If you know how to use Google, you know how to use 9XBuddy, for the most part.
The main menu runs up top and contains the options Home, Added sites, Donate, Support, and Settings. Below the menu is a space to paste URLs. To use 9XBuddy, copy the video URL you wish to download, paste it onto the site, and hit download. It’s that fucking easy.
If you’ve ever used a youtube to MP3 service before to listen to podcasts or music, it’s the same concept. The shit couldn’t get more straightforward. Even your grandmother could do it. Or should I say, Grandpa? I bet your grandpa chokes the chicken more often than you do.
Below the URL paste box is a secondary menu with the options Learn how to use, Browser bookmarklet, Request a website, and How to donate.
9XBuddy adds new sites to the collection every day. A place has to be in their books for the service to work. However, these guys have added a fuck ton of sites over the years. It’s unlikely your preferred porn sites aren’t included already. However, if by some chance they are not, you can request the ad.
Always At Your Service
One of my favorite aspects of 9XBuddy is the bookmarklet. Adding this bookmarklet to your browser will make downloading porn as easy as possible. All you have to do is drag and drop the URL on the bookmarklet, and the download starts automatically. It makes the experience seamless. Now you don’t even have to let go of your cock to download some shit.
There aren’t many free sites like 9XBuddy out there. It’s genuinely one of the most important sites I’ll ever review. If you haven’t already started a personal porn collection, this is the perfect opportunity to start.
I struggle to complain about anything on 9XBuddy. The place is awesome. I hope it never shuts down.
You never know when the WiFi might cut out. Don’t leave yourself stranded without porn to jerk off to. Download a bunch right now on 9XBuddy.